The problem with mirror images is they don’t lie. Fortunately the image in the mirror is not how I perceive myself. For us self-deluded people, Looking in a mirror is not a pleasant experience. Ironically looking in a mirror may be the most neglected spiritual discipline. Seeing ourself truthfully is a prerequisite to transformation. Being exposed to truth does not transform us, it an opportunity to choose between what is true and what is not. My inclination is to ignore the mirror image.
The pandemic is proving to be a mirror, reflecting images that don’t match up with my self-perceptions. When confronted with ugly truths about myself, my thought is “That damned pandemic!”. How silly it is to blame the mirror, she has no agenda except the truth. As famously said, “You can’t handle the truth!”
Last evening, I looked in the mirror, saw ugly truth, and thought “That damned pandemic!”.
That is a lie. It was me.
Choosing truth is really hard.
Richard Beck‘s bog post today was reassuring, at least I am not alone.
It seems to be a mathematical law that the more words you say the more likely you’re going to say something stupid or hurtful. It’s just a matter of volume. The more words the more risk. It’s a direct correlation.
Consequently, I spend a lot of my day feeling regret for something I’ve said. I’m always kicking myself with, “I wish I hadn’t said that.” To be clear, I’m not a mean, abusive person. But very often, my opinions get too strong, my jokes too cutting, my judgments too dismissive. And sometimes it’s just the problem that I need to stop talking and listen more.
Richard Beck