… not many of us are at home in the truth. We are moderately good people but because we are only moderately good self-deception is an endemic problem. Genuinely bad people often have less illusion about themselves and the world than those of us who try to be morally pretty good people. We discover, for example, that in our interactions with those with whom we are closest it is quite difficult not to lie. I suspect you will discover, and I suspect many of you already discovered, that in your most serious relationships, which sometimes will be marriage, you will fear telling the one you love the truth because the truth will threaten the fragile intimacy that originally sustained the relationship. That is why I have never trusted declarations by couples that claim they have always had a happy marriage. That just tells me someone lost early.
From Stanley Hauerwas
