Category: Dying Well

We modern people rarely face death in our day-to-day lives. Consequently, we rarely give death any thought at all. In fact, if we do take time to contemplate death, others might think that we have a morbid or depressive temperament. So it’s not just that we don’t think of death, it’s that we shouldn’t think of death.
…illusion of immortality, making it feel as though death has been banished from our lives. Because as a day-to-day reality, it largely has been. This is why speaking of death is generally avoided, why death is pornographic. Pausing to note death’s existence destroys the illusion. Rather than face the reality of death—which takes some effort in our society, given how death has been delayed—it’s easier to indulge the collective illusion of a deathless society.

Beck, Richard. The Slavery of Death

Writing about death and dying sensitized me to avoidance of death generally and, more specifically, in my church community. I understand an intuitive human response to the terror of death that produces the illusion of immortality, but, what perplexes me is avoidance of death in Christian communities. On the continuum of Christian communities some do not reflect an adamant avoidance of death; for example, Catholic and Eastern Orthodox traditions. However, avoidance of death characterizes much of western Christian’s experience, a deeply paradoxical reality for a faith in which death is the focal point of God’s mercy and deliverance.
Since the children have flesh and blood, he too shared in their humanity so that by his death he might break the power of him who holds the power of death—that is, the devil— and free those who all their lives were held in slavery by their fear of death. Heb.2.14NIV

For me, at least two questions arise: 1) Why do church communities avoid death ? 2) What impact, if any, does avoidance of death have on the health of the community?

WHY?
This quote from an earlier post, provides a troubling answer:
Vast portions of American Christianity are aimed at propping up the illusion—that the lives we live are not essentially and intrinsically mortal — giving religious sanction to American death avoidance. We see this in the triumphalism within many sectors of Christianity—the almost manic optimism of church culture that cannot admit any hint of debility, disease, death, or decay. These churches are filled with smiling cheerful people who respond with “Fine!” to any inquiry regarding their social, financial, emotional, physical, or spiritual well-being. Due to many churches’ explicit and implicit religious sanctioning of the American success ethos, church members become too afraid to show each other their weakness, brokenness, failure, and vulnerability. Such admissions are avoided, as they threaten to expose the neurotic lie that sits at the heart of Christian culture and American society—that death doesn’t exist. ¹Death and Life: An American Theology – David McGill 

When avoidance of death prevails, a secular mindset is exposed.
For Christians, avoidance of death is an implicit endorsement of Satan’s lie, “You will not certainly die.”.

So What? — the costs of avoiding death

Whether you are a Christian or not avoiding death is costly. This post focuses on costs to Christ-followers and their community— the Body of Christ. The list is not exhaustive but represents highlights of thoughts and ideas that have emerged in the course of writing on the subject. As usual, your input is appreciated.

• Avoiding death denies encouragement to the body of Christ: “… thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.”
  Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope. 
  For we believe that Jesus died and rose again, and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him. According to the Lord’s word, we tell you that we who are still alive, who are left until the coming of the Lord, will certainly not precede those who have fallen asleep. For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever. 
  Therefore encourage one another with these words.²1 Thess. 4:13-18
  
• Avoidance of death leaves no space for mourning as a community; the bereaved mourn privately, leaving those “who are fine” undisturbed and uninvolved.
  
• Where death is avoided, opportunity to die well is diminished; dying well requires continual awareness of our finitude.
  
• Death wounds the body of Christ. “If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together. Now you are the body of Christ and individually members of it. ³1 Cor 12
  …the good death still injures the community Death, even the good or happy death, is a painful event. It is evil and not a part of God’s are ation, though God can bring good from it. And those closest to the deceased, in particular, need their wounds healed.
  Avoidance of death inhibits healing for the body of Christ.
  
• When death is avoided death is no longer sacred..
  Christians in previous centuries, death was a sacred moment long prepared for. Christians sought to learn from the dying because of their in creased spirituality as they neared eternity
  The community drew comfort and encouragement from reports of those who crossed over in peace and hope.
  Another feature of this tradition taught that the dead were a permanent part of church life.
  Not only were Christian interpretations of death marginalized by a country that had become more secular, but Christians themselves now looked differently on death. Letters from the first half of the twentieth century show a marked change in how Christians talked about death. They began to use strictly material terms. Christians used their faith not to under stand death’s meaning and purpose and prepare themselves for life eternal, but to provide comfort in grief. “She’s gone to a better place,” we now say: Death became not the inevitable result of sin but the natural process of journeying to heaven.⁴The Art of Dying
  
• WE HAVE NO CHRISTIAN DYING
  “The dying person in the Christian tradition is invited to immerse as she or he did in baptism-a human story in a divine story, the Christian’s dying in the paschal mystery of Christ’s death and resurrection,” says Donald Heinz.
  “The idea that deaths can be inspirational–even redemptive-almost never enters modern conversations about death,” writes John Fanestil, “yet this understanding lies at the core of the Christian gospel.⁵The art of Dying
  
• Avoidance of death shapes memorials, i.e. obituaries – We hide the deceased’s final months and years, We list accomplishments, books written or organizations led. We measure the subject’s significance, and we quote the fond remembrances of friends and loved ones, we never mention how the subject died, how he faced his end show she prepared for the life to come.

The church, more than anything else, is a community that believes in the resurrection of the dead-first that of our Lord Jesus Christ, to be followed by the resurrection of those who believe in him and the re-creation of the world. Our faith has this-world consequences in how we treat our neighbors, how we behave at work, how we relate to our families, how we care for loved ones nearing death. If our faith has any earthly consequence, then certainly it should affect how we practice our deaths. ⁶The Art of Dying

STILL ON THE JOURNEY

• 1
  Death and Life: An American Theology – David McGill 
• 2
  1 Thess. 4:13-18
• 3
  1 Cor 12
• 4
  The Art of Dying
• 5
  The art of Dying
• 6
  The Art of Dying