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“You are going to feel like hell if you never write the stuff that is tugging on the sleeves of your heart — your stories, visions, memories, visions and songs. Your truth, your version of things, your own voice. That is really all you have to offer us. And that’s also why you were born.”
Anne Lamott

“You are going to feel like hell if you never write the stuff that is tugging on the sleeves of your heart — your stories, visions, memories, visions and songs. Your truth, your version of things, your own voice. That is really all you have to offer us. And that’s also why you were born.”
Anne Lamott

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Losing Weight

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(Post from 2006 during a serious weigh loss effort)

I have found the process of losing weight  interesting. Especially the response from people who have witnessed the changes. There were the usual comments: “I’m proud of you”, “Congratulations”, “You look great!”(I wonder what I was before)

As I have gotten thinner, the responses have shifted to warnings, concerns and direct orders: “Are you feeling OK?”, “Don’t you think you have lost enough weight?”, “You’re just too thin.”, “You should not lose any more weight.”, “Stop losing weight!”

I am not upset about these responses but they do give me pause for thought. Why didn’t I receive the same level of concern when I was obese, taking medications and obviously out of shape and my general health status was seriously deficient? My weight loss has brought me into the healthy category only about 6 pounds ago.

I have come to several conclusions: 1) As it was with me and is with most others, there is an absence of understanding with regard to what is normal and healthy. 2) In our thinking, we have changed the criteria for healthy to accommodate our own reality. 3) We are reluctant to express concern to one another because most of us are in the same boat. 4) Most people do not particularly want someone around that reminds them of their own deficiencies. 5) It is difficult to be humble and avoid self-righteousness when you have achieved a significant accomplishment. 5) Life is more than weight and diet. 6) Trust in God and is more important than ever.

re-post from 2006

Bob Dadisman

George 11 Comments

My long time friend, Bob Dadisman died unexpectedly Sunday evening January 21, 2018.

The reality of his passing is a shock. In my mind he was destined to live beyond normal expectations. His dad died at age 95 and his mom is still living at age 101 +. It seemed, in some ways, he planned not to die at all. Not that he didn’t realize his mortality, he just didn’t live like it.

The windows through which I saw Bobby was in our close friendship as couples. Ann and I with Bob and Carla and Frances and Lovell Richardson enjoyed life together regularly and traveled to numerous places. Those memories are special. Additionally, Bob and I served together as elders. It was there that I gained deeper insights into my friend.

Bob was a strong man. Anyone who shook his hand knew his physical strength. I watched him in his later years work like a man half his age. It never occurred to me to challenge him physically. His strength was more than physical.

He was a man of strong convictions. I did, on occasion, challenge him on that front. He did not often relent to my challenges but he was always willing to hear me out. I never felt disrespected. Thankfully, whenever he was nearing his tolerance limit a facial tic would appear and I knew it was time to retreat.

Bob was a passionate man. He deeply loved his family, his church family, and his business and worked tirelessly for their well being. His love and passion was revealed in his deeds. I never witnessed an emotional outburst from him.  However, I am certain that anyone who engaged him in an emotional context never doubted his care and concern.

Bob was a man of faith. His belief in Jesus was deeply embedded in his up bringing. As we served together as elders, I watched him struggle with the challenges that come to people who are serious about their faith. He was sometimes perplexed and other times troubled but I never knew him to waver in his confidence in Jesus.

If I had to choose a prominent person/image that most resembled Bob I would pick John Wayne (my apologies to the younger. Google it!). Like Wayne, Bob was a “straight shooter” who stood tall (?) and courageously lived out his values. The following quote about Wayne fits Bob well:

… his was no star-crossed journey. Rather, [Bob] simply worked tirelessly at his craft until he became a [success], but he never lost sight of the simple, straightforward person he was raised to be, even at the height of his [success]. Through it all, he tended to his family, enjoyed a few laughs, and devoted himself unwaveringly to his friends and [church] all his life.

I can say without reservation, the world is a better place because of Bob Dadisman.

Bob always loved a good steak. Though I never knew him to eat one that he didn’t wish it was a Gene Cash steak.
I love this recent picture that captures Bob’s care and concern.

Holy Week Prayer – Henri Nouwen

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Dear Lord, your disciple Peter wanted to know who would betray you. You pointed to Judas but a little later also to him. Judas betrayed, Peter denied you. Judas hanged himself, Peter became the apostle whom you made the first among equals. Lord, give me faith, faith in your endless mercy, your boundless forgiveness, your unfathomable goodness. Let me not be tempted to think that my sins are too great to be forgiven, too abominable to be touched by your mercy. Let me never run away from you but return to you again and again, asking you to be my Lord, my Shepherd, my Stronghold, and my Refuge. Take me under your wing, O Lord, and let me know that you do not reject me as long as I keep asking you to forgive me. Perhaps my doubt in your forgiveness is a greater sin than the sins I consider too great to be forgiven. Perhaps I make myself too important, too great when I think that I cannot be embraced by you anymore. Lord, look at me, accept my prayer as you accepted Peter’s prayer, and let me not run away from you in the night as Judas did. 

 

Bless me, Lord, in this Holy Week, and give me the grace to know your loving presence more intimately. Amen.

Peace

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You have made my soul for Your peace and Your silence, but it is lacerated by the noise of my activity and my desires. My mind is crucified all day by its own hunger for experience, for ideas, for satisfaction. And I do not possess my house in silence.

But I was created for Your peace and You will not despise my longing for the holiness of Your deep silence. O my Lord, You will not leave me forever in this sorrow, because I have trusted in You and I will wait upon Your good pleasure in peace and without complaining any more. This, for Your glory.

I am content that these pages show me to be what I am—noisy, full of the racket of my imperfections and passions, and the wide open wounds left by my sins. Full of my own emptiness. Yet, ruined as my house is, You live there!

 

• Thomas Merton, The Sign of Jonas

Commitment

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To be committed means we are willing to make a promise with no expectation of return; a promise void of barter and not conditional on another’s action. In the absence of this, we are constantly in the position of reacting to the choices of others. The cost of constantly reacting to the choices of others is increased cynicism and helplessness. The ultimate cost of cynicism and helplessness is we resort to the use of force. In this way the barter mentality that dominates our cultures helps create a proliferation of force. The use of force is the essence of the past we are trying to transform.

Commitment, the antithesis of entitlement and barter, is to choose a path independent of reward. It is a choice made in the absence of reciprocity. This is the essence of power.

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