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Category: The Journey

The Progeny Parable

The wedding was stunning in every way, the bride a fantasy princess, the groom Sir Galahad personified. Their only rival for attention were spectacular vistas framing the ceremony. Family and friends gathered to witness and celebrate. A spectacular honeymoon was almost anti-climactic.

Promising careers… white picket fences … beautiful people.. life is good, almost perfect … almost.

Months and years pass, life is good, almost perfect…almost. 

Empty nursery, dreams of progeny unfulfilled. Doubts and questions, Why? Who? 

God’s will?  Surely not.

Google it. No stone unturned. Calendars, thermometers, timing is everything. Hurry home, now is the time. Doctors, meds. Try harder!

Surely it is God’s will.

Resignation. It is not to be. 

Foster parenting. Hearts aching. Choice, not chance.

We’ve done it. Nursery songs ..diapers.. Mama…Dada

Life is almost perfect..almost. No matter. Thank you God.

Life is good.. love abounds. No calendars…no thermometers, no demands.

Could it be? Yes! How could it be? 

Did we just get out of the way? 

Surely it’s God’s will. 

 

A Good Life

Is there a formula—some mix of love, work, and psychological adaptation—for a good life? For 72 years, researchers at Harvard have been examining this question, following 268 men who entered college in the late 1930s through war, career, marriage and divorce, parenthood and grandparenthood, and old age. Here, for the first time, a journalist gains access to the archive of one of the most comprehensive longitudinal studies in history. Its contents, as much literature as science, offer profound insight into the human condition—and into the brilliant, complex mind of the study’s longtime director, George Vaillant.

 Case 218

How’s this for the good life? You’re rich, and you made the dough yourself. You’re well into your 80s, and have spent hardly a day in the hospital. Your wife had a cancer scare, but she’s recovered and by your side, just as she’s been for more than 60 years. Asked to rate the marriage on a scale of 1 to 9, where 1 is perfectly miserable and 9 is perfectly happy, you circle the highest number. You’ve got two good kids, grandkids too. A survey asks you: “If you had your life to live over again, what problem, if any, would you have sought help for and to whom would you have gone?” “Probably I am fooling myself,” you write, “but I don’t think I would want to change anything.” If only we could take what you’ve done, reduce it to a set of rules, and apply it systematically.

 Right?