Sometimes I feel as if there is a big hole in my life. For the last several weeks there has been a big hole in my backyard. This week I was able fill the backyard hole. Though it was hard work hauling all that fill to the backyard, I wish it was that easy to fill the holes my life.
Today is youngest daughter Tanya’s birthday. I won’t tell you how old she is for my own benefit but she is celebrating the 18th anniversary of her 20th birthday. She got off to a great start by competing in the R. J. Corman Duathalon (5K run/15mi Bike/ 5K run) finishing first in her age group. She used my hybrid bike and was competing against road bikes which cost her time in the bike segment. Great job Tanya.
I have been suffering blog slog for sometime. I am not sure what causes this condition. Even as I write this I feel a sense of overwhelming apathy …………………………………………..
This morning I was surprised and pleased to see that my friend Isaac had posted on his blog. I always look forward to what he has to say. Today was especially meaningful to me. This quote gave me more than enough to think about this day.
I had a dream once. I dreamed it every day month after month for years. Daily. It was a godly dream. About mission work in Africa, even. And about ten years ago, that dream began to slip away. It broke me, you know. I still haven’t completely let go. But this week, again, I mourned for that dream. I cried out from places in my heart that I hadn’t felt in a long, long time. And I told God just what I felt about it. Not because He’s been unfaithful to me, but because I don’t understand. And God bless me if I never understand.
I think the angry broken raw hurt of an honest plea is as sweet a prayer to God as any. I wrestled with Him the other night. And I woke up with my hip a little out of joint, but more persuaded than ever that He is God. I still don’t have any answers, but I’m convinced that He does. And the more I Know he has the answers, the less I feel the need to know them.?
You can find Isaac’s blog here.
Growing older, I have discover a common question among us older folks: Where do I fit into a community that honors that which is diminishing or now absent in my life and circumstances?
Reading Kathleen Norris’s “The Cloister Walk” this morning, this quote was clarifying and encouraging, opening a door of escape from either our self-imposed or circumstantial prison of old age.
“…when several generations of people are living together, the place of the very old is to teach about possibility.”