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So Much To Think About

Front Porches
Jane Jacobs who, in her classic The Death and Life of Great American Cities, argued that it was the mark of healthy urban life to have “eyes on the street.” Porches were crucial half-way places between the insides of the homes and the street, where residents of the homes could watch the street and where people from the street could fraternize with residents. Blocks in which no one sat out on porches to talk to passers-by and to watch what was happening were desolate and often dangerous. Blocks with lots of porch-sitters were friendly. If you were on a porch and saw someone you knew, you could call them up onto the steps or the porch and talk and even offer them a glass of lemonade or sweet tea on a hot day before they went on their way. Porches were the key to a vibrant neighborhood. 
Timothy Keller


“I Will Spit You Out of My Mouth”: The Real Lukewarm Christians

Posted on 4.05.2023

When I was growing up, Revelation 3.15-16 was a frequently used text for hellfire and brimstone sermons:

“I know your works: you are neither cold nor hot. Would that you were either cold or hot! So, because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth.”

This text was used to challenge our spiritual commitment. “Lukewarm” Christians weren’t invested, weren’t 100% bought in. “Lukewarm” Christians weren’t rebels or hostile to God, they weren’t cold, but they were slackers. They skipped church. They didn’t give. Etc. Etc. Consequently, Revelation 3.15-16 would be regularly pulled out to whip these lazy, uncommitted Christians into shape. 

And yet, that’s not what Revelation 3.15-16 is talking about. Whenever this text was preached, no one ever read past Verse 16. Because if you do, the vision of the “lukewarm” Christian becomes clear, and it’s not the vision I grew up hearing about. I was told the issue was a lack of spiritual effort, that I needed to try harder. But according to the text, a lack of effort is not what make a believer “lukewarm”:

“I know your works: you are neither cold nor hot. Would that you were either cold or hot! So, because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth. For you say, I am rich, I have prospered, and I need nothing, not realizing that you are wretched, pitiable, poor, blind, and naked. I counsel you to buy from me gold refined by fire, so that you may be rich, and white garments so that you may clothe yourself and the shame of your nakedness may not be seen, and salve to anoint your eyes, so that you may see.”

What makes a “lukewarm” Christian isn’t a lack of effort or investment. What makes a “lukewarm” Christians is a lack of humility. The issue isn’t laziness. The issue is a failure to recognize and embrace our need and dependency. The issue is saying “I need nothing.”

What makes you a “hot” Christian, therefore, isn’t more work, strain, and effort. What makes you “hot” is recognizing that you are wretched, pitiable, poor, blind and naked. What makes you “hot” is the realization that you need medicine for your eyes and for someone to cover your shame. The Christians who step into this neediness, as broken people in need of grace, are the ones who are truly “on fire” for the Lord. By contrast, those who stand before the Lord declaring “I need nothing,” as prideful and self-righteous, will be the ones he will spit out of his mouth.
Richard Beck


Questions we need to be asking 

How do you convict a person of sin if they strongly believe that morality is socially constructed and that we get to define for ourselves what is right or wrong?
How do you motivate a person to care about the Christian message if they believe that there is no afterlife at all and that the only happiness that can be grasped is material, this-world pleasure and comfort?
How do you speak to someone about salvation if they do not believe in a personal God, but only in a spiritual life force permeating everything?
How do you respond to the listeners who are alarmed that you are not allowing people to express and define themselves and that therefore your message is spiritually abusive and exploitative?
Timothy Keller


Nashville

Scripture would call me to lament. I don’t do it well. Lament seems far too passive, but it doesn’t need to be. Lament recognizes powerlessness, but it also marshalls what few reserves we actually have. The paradox of lament is that only God can repair the savage brokenness of our society. And God has given us his Spirit to be the change we want to see. I am simultaneously powerless and empowered when I declare, “The world is a broken place.”

Scot McKnight


At the Table

At the Table we are bound to the past, the Exodus generation. At the Table we have communion with Jesus in the struggle for faith. At the Table we are escorted into the very presence of God. The book of Revelation ends with that promise. We are seated at the Wedding Supper of the Lamb, our tears are washed away by the God who hears our cries, and God makes his home with us.

What “happens” at the Table is a microcosm of the entire Story of God. Those who feast at this Table share with those in the past, share in the present, and share in the future.

We are in God’s Time at the table.

Bobby Valentine


Old graveyards

If you ever tour an old graveyard, one of the things that might surprise you is the number of children who are buried next to their parents. We’ve come a long way in protecting our children. We protect them from disease and unclean water, but we can’t protect them from everything.
(unknown)


Patriotism 

you probably saw the Wall Street Journal/NORC poll that came out this week. It found that the share of Americans who say patriotism is very important to them has dropped to 38 percent from 70 percent since 1998. The share who say religion is very important has dropped to 39 percent from 62 percent. The share who say community involvement is very important has dropped to 27 percent from 47 percent. The share who say having children is very important has dropped to 30 percent from 59 percent.

These trends are partly driven by you, young adults under 30. Only 23 percent of you said that patriotism is very important or that having children is very important.

David Brooks


Church Attendance

During the pandemic, a shift happened among Americans in general and particularly among Americans with evangelical beliefs in reference to attending church, according to the State of Theology study. In early 2020, 58% of Americans said worshiping alone or with one’s family is a valid replacement for regularly attending church. By 2022, that number jumped to 66%. Among Americans with evangelical beliefs, the percentage increased from 39% in 2020 to 54% in 2022.

Julie Roys Report


Telling the Truth

My belief is that when you’re telling the truth, you’re close to God. If you say to God, “I am exhausted and depressed beyond words, and I don’t like You at all right now, and I recoil from most people who believe in You,” that might be the most honest thing you’ve ever said. If you told me you had said to God, “It is all hopeless, and I don’t have a clue if You exist, but I could use a hand,” it would almost bring tears to my eyes, tears of pride in you, for the courage it takes to get real—really real. It would make me want to sit next to you at the dinner table.  

So prayer is our sometimes real selves trying to communicate with the Real, with Truth, with the Light.

Anne Lamott


It is NOT what it is

I am always trying to find ways to explain how I think and see the world differently than I did years ago. As I sat waiting for an orientation class at to begin, the television was tuned to an educational channel and the program was a GED preparation math class. The teacher was trying to explain math concepts. He explained that a number, for example the number 5, is more than just a 5. You could say that 5 is 5 and that what it is. But in reality 5 is infinitely more than just 5. Five is not only 5 it is 2.5×2 = 15/5 = 37-32 = 6-1 = 7.4389 – 2.4389 = ad infinitum . Yes, they are all 5 but 5 is more than just 5. I can’t explain all the math concepts in the illustration but for me it was a great way to illustrate how my thinking and ultimately my view of the world have changed. My former way of thinking was when I saw 5, it was 5 and that was what it was. Somewhere along the line I realized that not only is 5 … 5, it is 2.5×2 and 15/5 and much more. Things I viewed so narrowly, I now realize have endless possibilities in how they are seen and understood. Creation reflects the infinite nature of the Creator.

Posted in 2008

Conversations Matter – Failure to Communicate

I have been deeply impressed with the importance of loving conversations and concluded they should be recognized and adopted as a spiritual discipline. That is all good, except for the realization I’m not very good at loving conversations. Reasonably decent at conversation, it’s the loving part that’s a challenge. 
That became apparent, earlier this week, as I attempted to have a conversation with Ann . It was very discouraging to fail to employ insights I have been sharing in my posts. 
My failure revealed an absence of — love, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, self-control — all qualities necessary for loving conversation and most importantly, fruits of the Spirit.

George Ezell – March 25, 2023

Despite my daughter’s protest, I will repeat a classic illustration of communication failure for me.
40+ years ago — manager at Ford Motor Company— elder and Bible teacher in our church —loving husband and father of five children — overly confident of my communication expertise; I received this Father’s Day card from our teenage daughter:

Obviously, failure at communication is not a new problem for me. I’d like to think my recent stumble was an abberation, but the truth is, it was’t an exception. Honestly assessing adverse relational experiences reveals a common denominator, communication failure — characterized by either an unwillingness to communicate, or an inability to communicate effectively. Conversely, positive relational experiences, are almost always bathed in meaningful, loving conversation.

Engaging in meaningful, loving conversation is a delightful and rewarding part of being human.

When conversation goes wrong, the potential for anger, pain, division, hatred and harm is real. A significant factor energizing and sustaining current social and political chaos, and dysfunctional personal relationships, is conversation gone wrong.
The pertinent question is “What’s going wrong?”


Chapter 5 – What Goes Wrong In Conversation

As we think about developing satisfying and warm relationships—and the wonderful purpose of meaningful conversations to connect, encourage others, share our lives, and love people well—is a great time to ask what’s going wrong in our conversational patterns.
Self-examination leads to significant improvement in our friendships as we honestly assess toxic patterns in how we relate to others. I know what you’re thinking. It’s other people who make it hard for you to have close relationships. They are the problem, right?

Who Am I ?

Arrogant, my perceived status as a more excellent human being shapes my relations with others. Since he I am superior to others, I do not regard others as having anything to offer me, nor do I believe they have the ability to enrich my life. The views and opinions of others are not of interest to me, and I treat them with disdain. Others owe me, in virtue of my excellence, a special sort of deference. I establish hierarchical and nonreciprocal relationships with my fellow human beings. Relationships marked by a lack of the mutual enrichment … an essential component of true friendship.

OR

a humble person that believes every person offers something of value. Every person I encounter might teach me something, or I might grant them a fresh perspective, or support and help them in just the way they need. A humble person positions themselves to experience awe because of what they experience by being with another person.

Having conversation is a minefield. I want to believe I am a humble person, however, after pondering Halleman’s pitfalls (land mines) to avoid in conversation, it is a miracle I experience meaningful, loving conversations at all. If I ever gave the impression that meaningful, loving conversations are an easy answer, I was wrong.
I’ve got a lot of work to do and time is getting short. Take some time to engage in self-examination of your conversation experiences.

Pitfalls to avoid in conversation

Criticizing
It’s easy for me to find what’s wrong about a situation or a person. I enjoy pointing out what isn’t working or what I don’t like about something. Most of my conversations involve me telling others what offends me or upsets me about someone.

Complaining
It’s natural for me to complain about how bad my day is going. I complain about my work, my problems, my health, and my family. I have a difficult time expressing gratitude or finding out what’s going well.

Advice-giving
When people share a problem with me, I immediately tell them what to do because I have experienced that and have wisdom. I always know what’s best for people.

Self-absorption I love to talk about myself and focus on what I need. When I’m in conversation, I cannot wait for you to stop talking so I can share my ideas and what I need from you. I often speak for long stretches and expect others to listen attentively.

Divisiveness
I often pit people against each other or speak in a way that’s “us versus them.” I believe we have real enemies, and it’s my job to warn you about how bad other people are. I’m not interested in finding common ground with people who believe differently from me about religion or politics.

Flattery I want people to like me, so I find ways to compliment them even if I don’t believe what I’m saying. I want people to feel good around me, so I say disingenuous things. I just want to please people.

Manipulation
In conversation, I like to think about what I can get from a person or how I can use them to my advantage to advance my goals. I believe strongly in networking and in finding friends who have power or prestige so they can help me in my goals. I also speak to people to secretly get them to do what I want.

Codependence
I like people needing me and wanting me to solve their problems. I want my children, spouse, friends, and coworkers to always need me. I also expect others to always be there for me to make me feel better and solve my problems. I’m always checking in on my friends and feel anxious if too many hours go by without me knowing how they are doing.
Gossip
Most of my conversations involve sharing private information about others, talking about the lives of other people, or asking about other people’s misfortunes so I can feel better about myself.

Arrogance
I often believe I am better than others because of my financial status, ethnicity, race, education, or gender. I am bored by the interests and opinions of others and would rather talk about my own ideas. I see myself as superior to others and do not think they have anything of real value to offer me.


This post reinforced my conclusion that loving conversation is a spiritual discipline, however, an interesting perspective has emerged in this process. Rather than just seeing loving conversation as a spiritual discipline yielding spiritual formation, it can also be understood as fruit of the Spirit.
Assuming that debatable perspective to be valid, the presence or absence of loving conversation could be a reliable barometer of spiritual health and vitality, good or ill. For me, that presents some very uncomfortable realities.

My failure revealed an absence of — love, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, self-control —

STILL ON THE JOURNEY

So Much To Think About

Digital evil

My 6-year-old boy died in January. We lost him after a household accident, one likely brought on by a rare cerebral-swelling condition. Paramedics got his heart beating, but it was too late to save his brain. I could hold his hand, look at the small birthmark on it, comb his hair, and call out for him, but if he could hear me or feel me, he gave no sign. He had been a child in perpetual motion, but now we couldn’t get him to wiggle a finger.

My grief is profound, ragged, desperate. I cannot imagine how anything could feel worse.

But vaccine opponents on the internet, who somehow assumed that a COVID shot was responsible for my son’s death, thought my family’s pain was funny. “Lol. Yay for the jab. Right? Right?” wrote one person on Twitter. “Your decision to vaccinate your son resulted in his death,” wrote another. “This is all on YOU.” “Murder in the first.”

https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2023/03/covid-vaccine-misinformation-social-media-harassment/673537/?utm_source=newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=atlantic-daily-newsletter&utm_content=20230328&utm_term=The%20Atlantic%20Daily


Enchantment

There has been a yearning in me that I’m only just beginning to to understand: a craving for transcendent experience, for depth, for meaning – making.  : It’s not just that the world needs to change-l need to change, too. I need to soften, to let go of my tight empirical boundaries, to find a greater fluidity in my being. I’m seeking what the poet John Keats called negative capability, that intuitive mode of thought that allows us to reside in uncertainties, Mysteries, doubts, without any irritable reaching after fact & reason. The subtle magic of the world  offers comfort, but I don’t know how to receive it. 

Enchantment – Katherine May Pg 8


Church as family

As I’ve studied the theme of church as family in Paul’s epistles I’m unconvinced that the biblical model can work with more than 100 people at a time…and that might be stretching it…maybe we should redefine success in ministry…

Phoenix Preacher


Powerlessness

Admitting we are powerless over people, places and things, and that our lives have become unmanageable, can be one of the most difficult, yet one of the most freeing, admissions of our lives. It is usually beyond our comprehension that admitting powerlessness and unmanageability will help us find peace. For many, if not most of us, this admission implies we have given up or we are defeated. However, this is exactly what the First Step is asking us to do: admit defeat. But, we are only admitting defeat in relation to our way of doing things. 

…what happens on the other side on our admission of defeat: 

Admitting our powerlessness frees us to allow the One who is Power to become active in our lives. We become more open to new ways of doing things as we allow God to love us and teach us how to give and receive love. We also begin to accept people and situations as they are. As we realize we aren’t in control, but God is in control, we are more able to detach from people and situations that are unhealthy for us, and accept these the way they are. This doesn’t mean we quit caring. We care, but we don’t allow the situation to determine our thoughts, actions and feelings. We will discover, as our detachment and acceptance deepens, that we have more emotional energy to spend on ourselves and the activities we would like to do.  

Catherine Chapman


Love the sinner hate the sin

…Evangelicals don’t approve of gay sexual relations. This is expected given their views that this activity is sinful. But what about the “love the sinner, hate the sin” dynamic? And let’s remember the finding from above: Evangelicals report being the most accepting of people (compared to other religious groups), even when those people are doing things they disagree with. So, do Evangelicals separate their feelings about gay behavior from their feelings about gay persons? The results from another “feeling thermometer”: Of all the religious groups Evangelicals score the lowest with the most negative feelings toward gays as people.

Richard Beck


We learn by doing it wrong

Any talk of growth, achievement, climbing, improving, and progress highly appeals to the ego. But the only way we stay on the path with any authenticity is to constantly experience our incapacity to do it, our failure at doing it. That’s what makes us, to use my language, fall upward. Otherwise, we’re really not climbing; we’re just thinking we’re climbing by saying to ourselves, “Look, I’m better today. Look, I’m holier than I was last week. Look, my prayer is improving.” That really doesn’t teach us anything or lead us anywhere new.  

In contrast, it is recognizing, “Richard, you don’t know how to love at all” that keeps me on the path of love. Constant failure at loving is ironically and paradoxically what keeps us learning how to love. When we think we’re there, there’s nothing to learn.  

Richard Rohr


Seeing- Stopping

The practice of Seeing…is simply a posture of social mindfulness. The practice of Seeing is paying attention to–seeing, really seeing–the person right in front of you. 

 Older translations of the Bible use the word “Behold” a lot. “Beholding” is deeper than mere “looking.” You can look, but not behold. The practice of Seeing is a practice of beholding others. Consider the failure of the Rich Man in the parable with the poor man Lazarus. Lazarus sits at the Rich Man’s gate begging, sores covering his body which the dogs came and licked. Though sitting at his very door, the Rich Man never sees Lazarus, never beholds him. Most of our failures to welcome others begin and end with these failures of beholding. Practices of Seeing try to bring people into view.

The practice Stopping is a variant of of the practice of Seeing. We often don’t see people because of the pace of our lives, our hurry and preoccupations. We have agendas and stuff to get done. Consequently, we tend to blow right past people. The practice of Stopping is a practice of slowing and becoming interruptible.

Richard Beck 

http://experimentaltheology.blogspot.com/2023/03/practicing-jesus-part-7-practices-of.html


Global Christianity

In his book “The Unexpected Christian Century,” Scott Sunquist notes that in 1900, about 80 percent of the world’s Christian population lived in the Western world and about 20 percent in the majority world. By 2000, only 37 percent lived in the Western world, and nearly two-thirds lived in the majority world. Sub-Saharan Africa had the most striking growth of Christianity, growing from around 9 percent Christian at the beginning of the 20th century to almost 45 percent at the end of it. There are around 685 million Christians in Africa now.

“Christianity at the beginning of the 21st century,” said George, “is the most global and most diverse and the most dispersed faith.

Statistics vary but even conservative estimates guess there were around 98 million evangelical Christians globally in 1970. Now, there are over 342 million.

The future of American Christianity is neither white evangelicalism nor white progressivism. The future of American Christianity is probably not one where white concerns and voices dominate the conversation. The future of American Christianity now appears to be a multiethnic community that is largely led by immigrants or the children of immigrants. And that reality ought to change our present conversations about religion in America.

Tish Harrison Warren NYT


A Prayer for When God Seems Absent 

Oh God, comfortable would we be if You gave us formulas and answered prayers and realized hope. But You call us beyond comfort. 

But God, life upends us. We face divorce or miscarriages, financial struggles or job insecurity, and the people we love are tossed about by disease or loneliness or homelessness or addiction. 

We are afraid. We don’t have adequate answers. And sometimes we can’t find You. 

Or, we can’t find the person we hoped You would be. 

May we learn to trust that You aren’t asleep on the job. That You haven’t forgotten us. That You are as near to us as our very breath. Give us the courage to press on. To suffer with hope that You have overcome the world. 

May again and again we be awed by Your presence. That even when we feel like we’ve hit rock bottom, may we recognize we have fallen into Your arms because there is no place so deep or so dark or so scary that Your presence cannot reach. 

In the name of the One who can still the seas with mere words, amen.

Kate Bowler Jessica Richie


Worshipping Satan

When I make myself and my pleasure my highest value, my highest vision of the good life, then I am worshipping the devil. 

I’m convinced the worship of the devil is not so obvious; it is evidenced in a heart that has made its outward priorities an inward map of their motivations, motivations clearly pointed back at one’s own care above others. I’m a big fan of self-care. But it’s not the goal; rather, it is a means to wholeness and fruitfulness for the sake of renewing our call to sonship and daughterhood in the world.

Dan Wilt  


TheLost Art of Dying
I recently read The Lost Art of Dying
by L S Dugdale MD.
It seems dying should be a relevant subject, at least for elderly people, though everyone is going to die… so… However, I find it that it is seldom a topic of conversation for me and my peers, much less anyone else.
Reading The Lost Art of Dying has got me thinking more about dying (in a good way). One concept the author writes about is the idea of dying well. I want to die well, but it requires understanding and conversation, before I die – duh!.
Richard Beck comments: In the affluent West, where our culture is characterized by a “denial of death”–a culture where we like to pretend, due to modern medicine and our technological wizardry that we are immune to death–
I recommend the book and plan write about it on my blog in coming weeks. I would be glad for you to join the conversation.

STILL ON THE JOURNEY

So Much To Think About

Infallible text vs infallible interpretation

From my Evangelical Covenant upbringing, I absorbed the belief I still hold: the Holy Scriptures, the Old and New Testaments, are the word of God and the only perfect rule for faith, doctrine, and conduct. “In all we believe, do, and say,” explained the Covenant’s resource paper on the Bible (2008), “we place ourselves under the authority of God’s written word and seek its direction.”

But it’s Scripture that’s our perfect rule, not any person’s, group’s, or institution’s interpretation of Scripture. As the resource paper’s authors immediately added: “Scripture itself is our compass, not formulations about Scripture or about its inspiration.” 

Indeed, they warned that the record of misreadings in Christian history is cause for humility in our own reading of the Bible. It should cause us to pause before we make authoritative statements about a particular interpretation of a passage—especially if it is an interpretation on which Christians authentically disagree. 

Simply put: we sometimes get it wrong. When reading faithfully, we will often find the Bible challenging the way we live rather than affirming it.

 Chris Gehrz

https://chrisgehrz.substack.com/p/the-bible-has-authority


Celebrity 

celebrity is social power without proximity. It’s the ability to shape hearts and minds from the distance of the stage and screen. In that distance creeps all sorts of temptations: the evade accountability, to avoid difficult conversations with the people who actually know you and are invested in your spiritual and mental health, to create a false persona, to start thinking you can get away with things that others can’t because you’re just that big and important.

Katelyn Beatty


Knowing

When the ego invests itself in its knowing, it is convinced that it has the whole picture. At that point, growth stops. The journey stops. Nothing new is going to happen to us after that point. The term we’re using here, “beginner’s mind,” comes from Buddhism. For Buddhists, it seems to refer to an urgent need to remain open, forever a student. A beginner’s mind always says, “I’m a learner. I’ve got more to learn.” It has to do with humility before reality, and never assuming that I understand. If there are fifty thousand levels of the mystery, maybe I’m at level forty-five. Maybe there’s more that needs to show itself to me. Can you imagine what a different world it would be if we all lived with that kind of humility?

Richard Rohr 


Common Sense

Recently I was asked to help the manager of an apartment complex to revise and update the Rules and Regulations by which both owners and renters must abide. As I was talking with the complex manager about the details, he suggested some additions to which I responded “But aren’t those common sense?” He rightly responded “There no such thing as common sense anymore.” I couldn’t argue with that.

On what do I blame this loss of common sense? I blame American individualism—as strongly promoted by the mass media, social media, popular culture. “To yourself be true.” “Be yourself.” “Don’t fit in; stand out.” Advertising: “You deserve [everything]….” “No limits.”

The problem, as I see it, is that a society cannot survive long without SOME sense of common sense, of right and wrong. Not everything can be legislated nor should it be. A society must be a community to survive. And a community must have some consensus about what constitutes “good” and “bad” behaviors. In America today the one dominating “common sense” consensus is individual freedom, self-realization and fulfillment, being happy on one’s own terms, NOT being a community. We are, I think, the most individualistic society that ever existed. And that is a problem. I can foresee the demise of America as a nation state sometime in the future, not from forces outside our borders but by slow disintegration of any sense of unifying common sense from within. https://www.patheos.com/blogs/rogereolson/2023/03/whatever-happened-to-common-sense/


Asbury Revival

Ross Douthat put his finger on the problem of assessing a phenomenon such as Asbury. How do modern people conditioned to live by empirical data use those same skills to evaluate something that defies the five senses? In the study of religion, Douthat wrote, secular academics “emphasize the deep structural forces shaping practice and belief — the effects of industrialization or the scientific revolution, suburbanization or the birth control pill.” In contrast, theologians inclined to believe in spiritual phenomena “emphasize theological debates and evangelization strategies.” Neither intellectual approach, he concluded, can determine whether “the mystical has suddenly arrived.”

https://www.washingtonexaminer.com/opinion/what-the-history-of-evangelicalism-tells-us-about-the-asbury-phenomenon


Nostalgia 

Author Marguerite Yourcenar called nostalgia “that melancholy residue of desire.” The melancholia of nostalgia is both an ache and a filter. The yearning for a curated version of the past tends to strain out all of the unpleasant bits. 

While it can be comforting to flip through a highlight reel of the nicest bits of your once upon a time, nostalgia has a shadow side to it. Nostalgia’s melancholia can become a hothouse environment that is a perfect breeding ground for fear and bitterness. Our unfiltered present can never compete with an idealized past. And nostalgia’s rose-colored glasses give us a vision of the future that is unable to see anything the dark certainty that what is to come will steal, kill, and destroy all that was once good. Nostalgia can become noxious.

Psychiatrist Dr. Gordon Livingston called nostalgia an enemy of hope, and I believe that is why nostalgia is a barren imitation of the biblical call to remember. Nostalgia limits my view of my teen years to bell bottoms, blue mascara, and a lot of Led Zeppelin. Remembering gives a necessary context for my life as it intersects with God’s redemptive work in and around me. Nostalgia doesn’t have space for my teen drug and alcohol use, promiscuity, and suicidal ideation, and it shrink-wraps the power of God who rescued me during those dark years into a cheerful little package I can hold in my hand like a souvenir of my bad old good ol’ days. 

Pastor Bruce Hillman wrote, “Nostalgia is often a technique for dealing with grief; it is a mechanism of narration that seeks to re-story the past as a way of dealing with the present. Like a drug, it gives a powerful escape from the responsibilities and struggles of the present moment. But it hinders the development of resilience.” Nostalgia suffocates our growth and stunts our hope. Forgetting the former days isn’t the antidote to noxious nostalgia. 

God never called us to Make Yesterday Great Again. But he does call us to remember. 

Remembering equips us to be fully present in our lives, able to draw on resources of God’s wisdom and strength, and able to make meaning out of our lived experience. 

https://www.fathommag.com/stories/noxious-nostalgia


Looking Back

“[T]here’s not enough troops in the army to force the southern people to break down segregation and admit the negro race into our theaters, our swimming pools, into our homes and into our churches.“
Strom Thurmond – Dixiecrat Presidential Convention, Birmingham, 1948

A candidate for the Presidency of the United States said those words in his acceptance speech! Thurmond made this speech when he thought America was great, but a plot was afoot!


Face to Face

The face is not only our primary presentation to the world, and our primary means of relationship, it is also, somehow, that which is most definitively identified with our existence as persons. Developmental psychologists say that the face-to-face gazing of mother and child in the act of nursing is an essential building block in the development of personality and the ability to relate to others.

I cannot see the face of another without looking at them. To see your face, I must reveal my face. That face-to-face encounter is pretty much the deepest and oldest experience we have as human beings (first experienced with our mother in nursing). For the whole of our lives, our faces are the primary points of experience and reaction. We cannot truly know the other without encountering them face-to-face.

Psychologists describe the bonding between mother and child in nursing (and face-to-face) as communion:

Identification begins as a visual process, but quickly becomes an internal imagery process, encompassing visual, auditory, and kinesthetic scenes. It is that universal scene of communion between mother and infant, accomplished through facial gazing in the midst of holding and rocking during breast or bottle feedings, that creates the infant’s sense of oceanic oneness or union. (Psychology of Shame, Kaufman, pg 31)

Fr Stephen Freeman
https://blogs.ancientfaith.com/glory2godforallthings/2023/03/24/to-see-him-face-to-face/

Remembering

Remembering is a function of a relationship. When we remember Jesus through wine and bread shared together at the table, we are invited to experience it as though we are sitting with him at the final meal he shared with his friends. The Bible doesn’t invite us to recall a set of data points about Jesus when we come to the communion table but to participate with him who is Immanuel, God with us here and now. 
(unknown)

Loving Conversations
My Conversation Matters posts have precipitated some serious opportunity for self-examination.
I have been deeply impressed with the importance of loving conversations and concluded they should be recognized and adopted as a spiritual discipline. That is all good, except for the realization I’m not very good at loving conversations. Reasonably decent at conversation, it’s the loving part that’s a challenge.
That became apparent, earlier this week, as I attempted to have a conversation with Ann . It was very discouraging to fail to employ insights I have been sharing in my posts.
The good news is that experience reinforced my conclusion that loving conversations should be a spiritual discipline.
My failure revealed an absence of — love, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, self-control — all qualities necessary for loving conversation and most importantly, fruits of the Spirit. The practice of loving conversations requires the “Spirit’s leading in every part of our lives“.
Lots to think about.

STILL ON THE JOURNEY

Conversations Matter- Spiritual Formation

In the previous post, Heather’s theology of loving conversations confirmed and validated my conclusion that loving conversations should be recognized and taught as a spiritual discipline.
Recently Richard Beck has written about “mistakes of spiritual formation efforts”. His series gives important context for concluding conversation is/should be a spiritual discipline. Reading the entire series is important, but, in the 5th post he addresses: “… what is missing from almost every spiritual formation effort is direct, interpersonal practice of the interpersonal and emotional virtues.”

The spiritual discipline we are looking for must possess these features:

A practice that is…

  • daily
  • situational
  • direct
  • interpersonal

Let’s walk through the list to show how such a practice fills the gap.

First, this is a practice. It’s not an educational intervention. This is something we do, actions we take.

Second, this this a daily practice. This is something we wake up to each day, Sunday through Saturday. This daily engagement provides us with time on task, allowing us to acquire those 10,000 hours of practice which shape our automatic responses. This is a practice similar to practicing a musical instrument every day. 

Third, the practice is situational. If we’re practicing how to deal with emotional triggers, we have to practice at the specific times and places where we struggle. If, for example, you’re struggling with impatience with a particular person in your life (say a co-worker or a family member) you need to practice patience with that specific person. Being patient elsewhere doesn’t form you where you’re struggling. It’s like a smoker not smoking during a movie in a non-smoking theatre. Any smoker can resist not smoking during the show. Self-control in that context isn’t the issue. Our battles in acquiring virtue are not vague and generic, but contextual and situational. Focusing on this situational specificity helps us overcome the chronic indirectness of most spiritual formation efforts. We need a practice that helps us right here and right nowwhere we struggle and fail. 

Fourth, the practice has to be direct. That is, if you’re wanting to be more kind the practice has to be practicing kindness, directly. You’re not praying or fasting, you’re being kind. To be sure, you should keep praying and fasting, but practicing kindness has to involve practicing kindness. 

And finally, the practice has to be interpersonal. This is obviously implied in everything already shared, but we make the point separately to highlight that this practice is a face to face practice that shapes how we treat and respond to people, especially the person standing right in front of me. There are many spiritual practices that demand we retreat from social life, taking us off into the contemplative “desert,” but we need a practice that forms us within the crucible of daily life with others. A Dietrich Bonhoeffer wrote, we share “life together.” We need a practice that forms us within and for this intimate and difficult social space. 

— Loving conversations address every criteria Beck describes.
Conversation fills the “spiritual discipline gap”. —

Adoption and implementation of conversation as a spiritual discipline is fraught with challenges; not the least of which, are prevailing assumptions about traditional spiritual disciplines :
(inward -Bible study, prayer, meditation, and fasting;
outward – service, solitude, submission, and simplicity;
corporate– worship, celebration, confession, and guidance.)
Loving conversation does not fit neatly into our perception of spiritual discipline. For instance, loving conversation, lacks the “spiritual pizzazz” of traditional spiritual disciplines, leading us to dismiss the idea out of hand.

Beck’s four mistakes we make in regards to spiritual disciplines …”point to a gaping hole in the spiritual formation literature, a hole that sits smack in the middle of spiritual formation books, the guidance of spiritual directors, seminary syllabi, and spiritual formation efforts within the church. We can call this hole “the missing spiritual discipline.” Although Beck’s conclusion about what the “missing spiritual discipline” is, differs from mine, I maintain loving conversation as a spiritual discipline deserves serious consideration.

What are you thinking?

STILL ON THE JOURNEY