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So Much To Think About

Wonder
My faith is held together by wonder—by every defiant commitment to presence and paying attention. I cannot tell you with precision what makes the sun set, but I can tell you how those colors, blurred together, calm my head and change my breath. I will die knowing I lived a faith that changed my breathing. A faith that made me believe I could see air.
Richard Rohr  


Self awareness

Albert Camus once said, “An intellectual is someone whose mind watches itself.”

In psychology, “meta-cognition” is a person’s ability to be aware of their own thoughts and emotions and have thoughts/emotions about those thoughts and emotions in real time. 

Meta-cognition is more casually known as “self-awareness” and is tied to all sorts of positive outcomes, from better emotional regulation to more focus and discipline and overall happiness and well-being. 

Self-awareness is at the root of all personal improvement. Until you’re aware of your problems, there is little you can do to improve them.

Mark Manson


The peril of humanity
What is at stake in the modern world is our humanity. The notion that we are self-authenticating individuals is simply false. We obviously do not bring ourselves in existence – it is a gift. And the larger part of what constitutes our lives is simply a given – a gift. It is not always a gift that someone is happy with – they would like themselves to be other than they are. But the myth of the modern world is that we, in fact, do create ourselves and our lives – our identities are imagined to be of our own making. We are only who we choose to be. It is a myth that is extremely well-suited for undergirding a culture built on consumption. Identity can be had at a price. The wealthy have a far greater range of identities available to them – the poor are largely stuck with being who they really are.

But the only truly authentic human life is the one we receive as a gift from God. The spirituality of choice and consumption under the guise of freedom is an emptiness. The identity we create is an ephemera, a product of imagination and the market. The habits of the marketplace serve to enslave us.

Fr Stephen Freeman


Seeing
Jesus says the only people who can recognize and be ready for what he’s talking about are the ones who come with the mind and heart of a child. It’s the same reality as the beginner’s mind. The older we get, the more we’ve been betrayed and hurt and disappointed, the more barriers we put up to the beginner’s mind. We move further away from the immediate delight and curiosity of small children. We must never presume that we see, and we must always be ready to see anew. But it’s so hard to go back, to be vulnerable, and to say to our soul that “I don’t know anything.”

Spirituality is about seeing. It’s not about earning or achieving. It’s about relationship rather than results or requirements. Once we see, the rest follows. We don’t need to push the river, because we’re in it. The life is lived within us, and we learn how to say yes to that life.

Richard Rohr


Poverty

The United States has a poverty problem.
A third of the country’s people live in households making less than $55,000. Many are not officially counted among the poor, but there is plenty of economic hardship above the poverty line. And plenty far below it as well. According to the Supplemental Poverty Measure, which accounts for government aid and living expenses, more than one in 25 people in America 65 or older lived in deep poverty in 2021, meaning that they’d have to, at minimum, double their incomes just to reach the poverty line.


Customer service

74% of Americans say they’ve had product or service problem in the past year, according to the 10th edition of the National Customer Rage Survey, which tracks satisfaction and incivility. The incidence of problems has more than doubled since 1976. 


Repugnant cultural other

Susan harding coined the phrase “repugnant cultural other.” It is a neat and ugly description of that process of demonising the other, misrepresenting the argument, refusal to understand the person, and the evacuation of empathy and compassion the better to wound and reject those who think differently, live differently and are different, and therefore a threat to the way we want the world to be.

Culture war is a battle for the supremacy of one viewpoint over others, a refusal of tolerance, often accompanied by a self-righteous claim to truth and right. Tolerance is not weakness if it is holding to our own convictions while doing our best to listen, understand and respect the convictions of others. Intolerance is not always strength; most times it is insecurity with the volume turned up.

I for one can’t combine the mindset of the culture warrior with the mindset of the ambassador of Christ entrusted with a ministry of reconciliation.

Jim Gordon


Seaweed Apocolypse 

A giant seaweed bloom – so large it can be seen from outer space – may be headed towards Florida’s Gulf Coast

The sargassum bloom, at around 5,000 miles wide, is twice the width of the United States and is believed to be the largest in history. 

Drifting between the Atlantic coast of Africa and the Gulf of Mexico, the thick mat of algae can provide a habitat for marine life and absorb carbon dioxide. 

However, the giant bloom can have disastrous consequences as it gets closer to the shore. Coral, for instance, can be deprived of sunlight. As the seaweed decomposes it can release hydrogen sulfide, negatively impact the air and water and causing respiratory problems for people in the surrounding area. 


Church

“The church as an alternative community in the world is not a ‘volunteer association’, and accident of human preference. The church as a wedge of newness, as a foretaste of what is coming, as a home for the odd ones, is the work of God’s sovereign mercy. For all its distortedness, the church peculiarly hosts God’s power for life.”

Walter Brueggemann


Aversion to reality

The whole tendency of equity language is to blur the contours of hard, often unpleasant facts. This aversion to reality is its main appeal. Once you acquire the vocabulary, it’s actually arouses no emotion. The second is rudely blunt and bitter, and it might make someone angry or sad. Imprecise language is less likely to offend. Good writing—vivid imagery, strong statements—will hurt, because it’s bound to convey painful truths.

THE MORAL CASE AGAINST EUPHEMISM
Banning words won’t make the world more just.
BY GEORGE PACKER


Baby Boomer Bust

A wave of Americans has been reaching retirement age largely unprepared for the extraordinary costs of specialized care. These aging baby boomers — 73 million strong, the oldest of whom turn 77 this year — pose an unprecedented challenge to the U.S. economy, as individual families shoulder an increasingly ruinous financial burden with little help from stalemated policymakers in Washington.

The dilemma is particularly vexing for those in the economic middle. They can’t afford the high costs of care on their own, yet their resources are too high for them to qualify for federal safety-net insurance. An estimated 18 million middle-income boomers will require care for moderate to severe needs but be unable to pay for it, according to an analysis of the gap by the Center for Retirement Research at Boston College.

Assisted-living facilities, the fastest-growing category of elderly care, provide an independent, homelike environment for seniors who need some help with day-to-day functions. Chandeliers, comfy sofas, wood paneling and plush carpets are standard in common areas. You can get your own apartment with your own bathroom. But it starts at $60,000 a year on average, according to the National Investment Center for Seniors Housing & Care (NIC) — and costs go up as residents age and need more care. Locked units for dementia patients, which increasingly are being established within assisted-living facilities or as stand-alone facilities, run more than $80,000 a year on average.

Long-term care costs represent “the single largest financial risk” facing seniors and their families, the National Council on Aging and UMass Boston researchers said in a 2020 report.

Polls show the vast majority of people would prefer aging in place, in their own home. But median costs for 40 hours a week of assistance from a care aide in the home, for things like bathing, dressing, eating and toileting, run over $56,000 a year. A shortage of home care aides, moreover, was exacerbated by the pandemic.

Nursing homes provide the most intensive care for the most dependent seniors and function like medical facilities, averaging $120,000 a yearunless you qualify for Medicaid, the federal insurance program for the poor and elderly. Medicaid will kick in only once an elderly person’s resources are drained away.

Long-term care costs represent “the single largest financial risk” facing seniors and their families, the National Council on Aging and UMass Boston researchers said in a 2020 report.

STILL ON THE JOURNEY

Conversations Matter – Theology of a Loving Conversation

Reading “The Six Conversations: Pathways to Connecting in an Age of Isolation and Incivility.” affirmed many previously held understandings about conversations and their role in healthy relationships.

My introduction to Heather Halleman and “The Six Conversations” came via a “No Small Endeavor” podcast . The podcast is an excellent and convenient introduction.
I was hooked after hearing :

“The most loving thing we can do is have meaningful conversations.”

This post is primarily citations from Chapter 2. I believe Heather’s insights on Theology of a Loving Conversation are more than adequate to establish a theological basis for loving conversations.
Succeeding posts will address some implications I believe loving conversations could have on one’s faith journey.


Chapter Two – Theology of a loving conversation

Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.  (Phil. 2:3)

My loving conversations, rooted in Philippians 2, became my primary act of service and the way I humbled myself to take on the nature of a servant. As I continued to grow in the art of a loving conversation, I found so much biblical support for the Four Mindsets. Paul’s command to discover the interests of others related directly to my becoming a curious person.

Honoring others related to positive regard, and I found more commands to walk “with humility toward one another” (1 Peter 5:5).

Paul even tells us to “outdo one another in showing honor” (Rom. 12:10). But what about the idea of investment and expressing concern about others?

Paul tells us to “rejoice with those who rejoice [and] weep with those who weep” (Rom. 12:15) and to “carry each other’s burdens” (Gal. 6:2 NIV). How would I know how to rejoice if I never ask about anyone’s good news? How would I encourage and comfort others if I never ask about how they are struggling?

And, most vitally, how could I continue in my past ways of selfishness if I ever wanted to uphold Jesus’ command to love one another as He has loved me (John 15:12)?

…consider the command to share our lives in verses like James 5:16: “Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed.” Telling other people how we’re struggling invites this kind of prayer and healing. It’s also a way to allow the often-quoted verse in Proverbs 27:17 to come about: “Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.” Allowing this “sharpening” involves humility and the willingness to live vulnerably.

Paul seems especially passionate about the importance of sharing one’s life as he penned the first letter to the Thessalonian church. He explains how delighted and ready he was to “share with you not only the gospel of God but also our own selves” (1 Thess. 2:8). I read this verse carefully as a young professional who wanted to build a philosophy of living as a teacher and friend. What would it mean to share my “own [self]” in the work God had called me to do as a teacher, mother, and friend? Sharing my life with others—my struggles, my hopes, my fears, and my victories—would forever become part of the art of conversation and a vulnerable risk I would choose to take over and over again.

If we look deeper into this idea of sharing “our own selves” from a biblical perspective, we might consider John 17 and the way Jesus prays for believers. Jesus prays that we would “be one” together just as the Father was in Him (v. 21). Think about the commands in Scripture to have “unity of mind” (1 Peter 3:8); to see ourselves as “one body” who are “members one of another” (Rom. 12:5); to understand our baptism into “one body—Jews or Greeks, slaves or free” (1 Cor. 12:13); and to live so interconnected that if someone “suffers, all suffer together” and if someone “is honored, all rejoice together” (1 Cor. 12:26).

Essentially, Jesus’ desire for our interconnectedness reflects what the science of relationships now confirms. To put it simply, think of the famous quote from C. S. Lewis, who writes that all friendship comes from that moment when someone says, “What? You too? I thought I was the only one.”
When you share mutually, you find the connection on which all great relationships depend.

Finally, God marvelously shares His life with us. The incarnation of God—who came to earth and made His dwelling among us—shows us God’s desire to share and give up His very life to make a way for us to know Him. And He gives us the greatest gift of the Holy Spirit so we might experience union with Him. The Lord shares His thoughts with us as the Holy Spirit uses Scripture and prayer to communicate with His people. In Psalm 25:14, we read how “the friendship of the LORD is for those who fear him, and he makes known to them his covenant.”

God desires intimate connection with us, and Jesus gave up His life on the cross that we might be in conversation with the living God. Jesus Himself opened up and shared His sorrow in the garden of Gethsemane as told in Matthew 26:38. He says, “My soul is very sorrowful, even to death; remain here, and watch with me.” That moment of vulnerability reminds me that God desires connection.
Conversations matter to God, and He models a perfect way to connect with others.

I want to grow in my ability to connect with others through loving conversations. I want to see conversations as a sacred space. Let’s think about our next conversation as a way to honor others above ourselves, to value others above ourselves and take an interest in them, to encourage one another, to demonstrate kindness and compassion, and ultimately, to love people. When we do this, we reflect God’s character.

STILL ON THE JOURNEY

So Much To Think About


Politics & Religion
Tony Campolo, always ready to offer a one-liner: “Putting religion and politics together is like mixing ice cream with horse manure. It doesn’t hurt the horse manure; it ruins the ice cream.”  


Church
When the church becomes preoccupied with defending itself to the world, it eventually becomes incoherent. The only way to be a church is to speak the peculiar language of peace, of forgiveness, of repentance and resurrection.
christianitytoday


Piety

Sometimes I observe people so diligently trying to orchestrate whatever state of prayer they’re in that they become peevish about it. They don’t dare to move or let their minds be stirred for fear of jeopardizing the slightest degree of devotion or delight. It makes me realize how little they understand of the path to union. They think the whole thing is about rapture.
But no, friends, no! What the Beloved wants from us is action. What he wants is that if one of your friends is sick, you take care of her. Don’t worry about interrupting your devotional practice. Have compassion. If she is in pain, you feel it, too. If necessary, you fast so that she can eat. This is not a matter of indulging an individual, you do it because you know it is your Beloved’s desire. This is true union with his will. What he wants is for you to be much happier hearing someone else praised than you would be to receive a compliment yourself. If you have humility, this is easy. It is a great thing to be glad when your friends’ virtues are celebrated. 
Teresa of Ávila, The Interior Castle


Others
What you hate in others is usually what you hate most in yourself. The people who drive you crazy do so because they reflect back at you the worst aspects of yourself that you have either tried to deny or overcome.
Mark Manson


Ambush
I wonder if the only way that conversion, enlightenment, and transformation ever happen is by a kind of divine ambush. We have to be caught off guard. As long as we are in control, we are going to keep trying to steer the ship by our previous experience of being in charge. The only way we will let ourselves be ambushed is by trusting the “Ambusher,” and learning to trust that the darkness of intimacy will lead to depth, safety, freedom, and love.
Richard Rohr


Duty
Duty does not have to be dull. Love can make it beautiful and fill it with life. As long as we show lines of division between duty and pleasure in the world of the spirit, we will remain far from God and from His joy. 
ThomasMerton


Death rate & Conversation 
In perhaps the most revealing of all the health-related studies, a group of subjects who had contracted malignant melanoma received traditional treatment and then were divided into two groups. One group met weekly for only six weeks; the other did not. Facilitators taught the first group of recovering patients specific communication skills. After meeting only six times and then dispersing for five years, the subjects who learned how to express themselves effectively had a higher survival rate—only 9 percent succumbed as opposed to almost 30 percent in the untrained group.3 Think about the implications of this study. Just a modest improvement in the ability to talk and connect with others corresponded to a two-thirds decrease in the death rate. This study is just one sample of how the way you talk or don’t talk can dramatically affect your health. Mountains of research suggest that the negative feelings we hold in and the emotional pain we suffer as we stumble our way through unhealthy conversations slowly eat away at our health. In some cases, the impact of failed conversations leads to minor problems. In others, it results in disaster. In all cases, failed conversations never make us happier, healthier, or better off.
Crucial Conversations

Virtue
In “The Sovereignty of Good,” the novelist and philosopher Iris Murdoch writes that “virtue is the attempt to pierce the veil of selfish consciousness and join the world as it really is.”

Community and Intimacy with God
Dietrich Bonhoeffer—in his book on community, Life Together, suggested that sometimes the psychological energy from being with a group of people can displace true trust in God for many. He suggested that we must learn to be alone with God, which is different from loneliness, for us to become whole and to not confuse the energies of friendship and community with intimacy with God.


From fame to honor
The remedy for shame is not becoming famous. It is not even being affirmed. It is being incorporated into a community with new, different, and better standards for honor. It’s a community where weakness is not excluded but valued; where honor-seeking and “boasting” of all kinds are repudiated; where servants are raised up to sit at the table with those they once served; where even the ultimate dishonor of the cross is transformed into glory, the ultimate participation in honor. To use the powerful biblical metaphor, the gospel offers adoption—a new status as “sons,” to use the intentionally gendered, high-status word of Romans 8—to both men and women, now members of the family of the firstborn Son.
Andy Crouch


ABSOLUTE TRUTH

In full disclosure, I believe there is absolute truth. I know some will breath a sigh of relief and a few will wince. 

The subject of absolute truth is a trigger in post-modern culture. The following quote helps frame the issue:

Whatever happened to the truth?! In our world, the idea of ultimate truth — something that is true at all times in all places and has relevance for our lives — is about as extinct as the dinosaur. In fact, nearly three out of four Americans say there is no such thing as ultimate, or absolute, truth. And the numbers don’t look much better among those who claim to follow Jesus.
In a society where ultimate truth is treated like a fairy tale, an outdated idea or even an insult to human intelligence, the motto of the day becomes, “WHATEVER!” Believe whatever you want. Do whatever seems best to you. Live for whatever brings you pleasure, as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone. And of course, be tolerant. Don’t try to tell anyone that their whatever is wrong.

https://www.focusonthefamily.com/church/absolute-truth/

Ironically, everyone believes in Absolute truth.  
When someone says, “There is no such thing as absolute truth,” that person is actually making a statement that he or she believes to be absolutely true. Contradictory, isn’t it? 
Christianity has come to be defined largely its commitment to culture wars, battling assaults on absolute truth. The opposition’s absolute belief that there is no absolute truth is a Maginot Line. This is a frightening proposition. When one believes they possess absolute truth, any action can be justified to protect truth. Therein lies the basis for concluding that absolute truth is a root cause of division. Logic will not permit any compromise. If A is absolutely true, then B is absolutely false. The conflict has evolved into trench warfare

Mutually assured destruction is not imminent, Christianity has adopted the secular ethos of “whatever”. It’s a lot easier to to declare …”whatever, believe whatever you want”… especially since their ultimate reward is eternal hell. “Whatever” is not a solution, it it is a diversion, it is the political equivalent of “love the sinner, hate the sin”. The truth is, when either side’s absolute truth is threatened they will be a fight to the death. Truth matters and is worth fighting for.

Mutually assured destruction may not be imminent for our society, but it is a present reality for families and churches. On a personal level, absolute truth is nitroglycerin, mishandle it and family, friends, spiritual bonds can be destroyed. 

The challenge for me, a believer in absolute truth, is how to properly handle Absolute Truth. 

STILL ON THE JOURNEY

Conversations Matter – Share Your Life

Continuing Conversations Matter, reflecting on THE SIX CONVERSATIONS: Pathways to 
Connecting in an Age of Isolation and Incivility
 by Heather Holleman.

In Simple Terms, If I Were To Tell You The Four Most Critical Things To Do To Foster A Warm And Connected Conversation, I’d Say This: 
Be Curious 
* Believe The Best 
* Express Concern 
*
Share Your Life

In The Art of Positive Communication, professor of Applied Communication Julien Mirivel tells us the seven behaviors needed in a great conversation. Besides greeting, asking questions, complimenting, encouraging, listening, and inspiring, great conversations involve disclosing personal information.

According to the research on the three best strategies to create relational closeness, openness—the “willingness to share personal information” and not “withhold private information” matters deeply. The other two behaviors—attention and involvement—relate to the mindset of investment. When we’re invested and share our lives, we’ll find we’re on our way to truly meaningful conversations with others.

Holleman, Heather. The Six Conversations (p. 36). Moody Publishers. Kindle Edition.

SHARE YOUR LIFE

…think of the famous quote from C. S. Lewis, who writes that all friendship comes from that moment when someone says, “What? You too? I thought I was the only one.” When you share mutually, you find the connection on which all great relationships depend.

Mutual Sharing


Conversation is a two-way street. Sharing one’s life creates vulnerability. Mutuality deters relational power imbalances which can occur when only one person shares.
One-sided disclosure inhibits cognitive interdependence —necessary for great conversations.
(the tendency of individuals in close, committed relationships to think of themselves less in individual terms and more as partners in a dyadic relationship)
Charles Taylor observed: “Sociability as conversation could suggest a model of society as mutual exchange rather than hierarchical order”

Mutual sharing clashes with the notion we must do without support, which is ingrained in our nation’s culture. Our most toxic myth is our “pull yourself up by your bootstraps” individualism. Enlightenment notions of individual autonomy, independence, rights, freedom and liberty run deep in the American consciousness and impede mutual sharing. An antidote to individualism is “The art of dependence” — which means accepting aid with grace and, crucially, recognizing the importance of others. It takes dignity and skill to lean on friends, loved ones and colleagues…

Mutual sharing creates questions about personal boundaries. Boundaries, though necessary, should not be impermeable. In encounters with others, boundaries are always crossed, in fact, even if only minimally. People and communities with dynamic identities will have firm but permeable boundaries. With such boundaries, encounters with others don’t serve only to assert our position and claim our territory; they are also occasions to learn and to teach, to be enriched and to enrich, to come to new agreements and maybe reinforce the old ones, and to dream up new possibilities and explore new paths.

Share Your Life
Personal assessment:
I love to share my life with other people: Rarely | Sometimes | Almost always

Reflect: Why do you think you feel this way? What happened to make you this kind of person? What’s your next step in developing this skill? What resistance or hesitation do you have to this conversational skill?

Holleman, Heather. The Six Conversations (p. 39).

STILL ON THE JOURNEY


So Much To Think About

Living to 100
Experts don’t mince words: as many as half of today’s five year olds in the U.S. will live to 100. Are we ready?


Vocation
It comes from the Latin vocare, to call, and means the work a person is called to by God. There are all different kinds of voices calling you to all different kinds of work, and the problem is to find out which is the voice of God rather than of Society, say, or the Super-ego, or Self-Interest. By and large a good rule for finding out is this. The kind of work God usually calls you to is the kind of work (a) that you need most to do and (b) that the world most needs to have done. . . . The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet.
Fredrick Buchner 


From fame to honor
The remedy for shame is not becoming famous. It is not even being affirmed. It is being incorporated into a community with new, different, and better standards for honor. It’s a community where weakness is not excluded but valued; where honor-seeking and “boasting” of all kinds are repudiated; where servants are raised up to sit at the table with those they once served; where even the ultimate dishonor of the cross is transformed into glory, the ultimate participation in honor. To use the powerful biblical metaphor, the gospel offers adoption—a new status as “sons,” to use the intentionally gendered, high-status word of Romans 8—to both men and women, now members of the family of the firstborn Son.
Andy Crouch


Community and Intimacy with God
Dietrich Bonhoeffer—in his book on community, Life Together, suggested that sometimes the psychological energy from being with a group of people can displace true trust in God for many. He suggested that we must learn to be alone with God, which is different from loneliness, for us to become whole and to not confuse the energies of friendship and community with intimacy with God.
Who doesn’t want moral support? Who doesn’t need friends when the heart is most challenged to affirm our vocation, our calling, and to remind us who we are?
Jesus doesn’t want it, that’s who. Not at this moment. He knows it’s time to be in the solitary place, the wild, the alone.


Desert Experience

One does not have to move to the geographical location of the wilderness in order to find God. Yet, if you do not have to go to the desert, you do have to go through the desert…. The desert is a necessary stage on the spiritual journey. To avoid it would be harmful. To dress it up or conceal it may be tempting; but it also proves destructive in the spiritual path.
Ironically, you do not have to find the desert in your life; it normally catches up with you. Everyone does go through the desert…. It may be in the form of some suffering, or emptiness, or breakdown, or breakup, or divorce, or any kind of trauma that occurs in our life. Dressing this desert up through our addictions or attachments—to material goods, or money, or food, or drink, or success, or obsessions, or anything else we may care to turn toward or may find available to depend upon—will delay the utter loneliness and the inner fearfulness of the desert experience. If we go through this experience involuntarily, then it can be both overwhelming and crushing. If, however, we accept to undergo this experience voluntarily, then it can prove both constructive and liberating.
Richard Rohr


Virtue
In “The Sovereignty of Good,” the novelist and philosopher Iris Murdoch writes that “virtue is the attempt to pierce the veil of selfish consciousness and join the world as it really is.”


Searching Scripture
Rather than a vehicle for knowing God and fostering our communion with him, we search the Scriptures for applicable principles that we may employ to control our world.
..Jethani, Skye. With (p. 51).


“Religion is for people who are afraid of going to hell; spirituality is for those who have been there.”
Rohr, Richard. Breathing Under Water: Spirituality and the Twelve Steps (p. 33).


View from the back deck
We had an uneventful return from Florida, arriving Thursday am. March in Kentucky is never dull. On Friday we experienced unprecedented weather (seems like that’s the only kind we have these days) with 80mph winds. The low pressure system set a record low barometric reading. Our back yard is filled with our neighbors tree. No damage other than the fence. I was able to secure our carriage house metal roof before it blew off. We lost power around 3:30 pm yesterday and it has still not been restored. Our daughter has power so we have a handy refuge.
After seeing the hurricane impact in Florida and hearing the difficulties people are still encountering, our situation is insignificant. The impact on Kentucky is significant, adding to last year’s tornados and flooding.
We are thankful for our good fortune.

STILL ON THE JOURNEY