“You are going to feel like hell if you never write the stuff that is tugging on the sleeves of your heart — your stories, visions, memories, visions and songs. Your truth, your version of things, your own voice. That is really all you have to offer us. And that’s also why you were born.”
Anne Lamott
“You are going to feel like hell if you never write the stuff that is tugging on the sleeves of your heart — your stories, visions, memories, visions and songs. Your truth, your version of things, your own voice. That is really all you have to offer us. And that’s also why you were born.”
Anne Lamott
News and data regarding coronavirus is encouraging. An expression I hear often is: “I will be so glad when we get back to…”. I understand the sentiment but I’m not so sure it is a realistic expectation. Sure, there will some things that we will “get back to”, eating out for example. However, what eating out looks like in the future most likely will not be what we experienced pre-covid. If our mindset is “getting back to”, we are going to be disappointed and frustrated.
I do not believe the events of 2020 and 2021 are temporary interruptions, but are irreversible change, there is no “getting back to”. Responding, personally or organizationally with a strategy to “get back to” is short sighted. As Richard Rohr says in the quote below, we need to “go to a new place”.
The word change normally refers to new beginnings. But the mystery of transformation more often happens not when something new begins, but when something old falls apart. The pain of something old falling apart—chaos—invites the soul to listen at a deeper level, and sometimes forces the soul to go to a new place. We will normally do anything to keep the old thing from falling apart, yet this is when we need patience and guidance, and the freedom to let go instead of tightening our controls and certitudes. While change can force a transformation, spiritual transformation always includes a disconcerting reorientation. It can either help people to find new meaning or it can force people to close down and slowly turn bitter. The difference is determined precisely by the quality of our inner life, our practices, and our spirituality. In moments of insecurity and crisis, shoulds and oughts don’t really help. They just increase the shame, guilt, pressure, and likelihood of backsliding into unhealthy patterns. It’s the deep yeses that carry us through to the other side. It’s that deeper something we are strongly for—such as equality and dignity for all—that allows us to wait it out. It’s someone in whom we absolutely believe and to whom we commit. In plain language, love wins out over guilt any day. Richard Rohr
Although Rohr’s focus is spiritual, his counsel is profoundly practical. We are at a critical juncture. As individuals or leaders, choosing to “get back to” is not a viable option. It is the responsibility of leadership to to help people find new meaning, encouraging and leading them forward in a new reality. Equally, it is the responsibility of each follower to embrace new realities and resist demanding “get back to”.
These unwanted moments when we cannot change the reality we face offer the most profound possibilities of true life change. It may be precisely because the situation cannot change that everything else can change. J D Walt
The Israelites said to them, “If only we had died by the Lord’s hand in Egypt! There we sat around pots of meat and ate all the food we wanted, but you have brought us out into this desert to starve this entire assembly to death.” Exodus 16:3
Today’s post is the last of this “Heading Out or Holding On” series.The subject has not been exhausted, but I am. I want to conclude with some general thoughts and observations about dynamic stability.
Dynamic stability is oxymoronic, paradoxical and counter-intuitive. I think Jesus might have liked the idea. Using metaphors is always risky, they are powerful teaching tools but ultimately break down under the scrutiny of disenchanted, either/or reasoning. As I have continued to think about dynamic stability, in particular…what is the [spiritual] equivalent of paddling as fast as the water or maintaining dynamic stability? Then the conflicting idea of anchors comes to mind. I recall much emphasis in my religious heritage about having a solid anchor…
Will your anchor hold in the storms of life Will your anchor hold in the storms of life, When the clouds unfold their wings of strife? When the strong tides lift, and the cables strain, Will your anchor drift or firm remain?
We have an anchor that keeps the soul Stedfast and sure while the billows roll, Fastened to the Rock which cannot move, Grounded firm and deep in the Savior’s love.
That song, deeply embedded in my soul, is the essence of holding on. I remember countless sermons on anchors, steadfastness, solid rock, et al. The objective of faith as I was taught was to grasp and hold on… firmly. As I remember those years, it occurred to me what a radical contrast the idea of heading out is compared to holding on. Holding on is clearly a biblical concept, as is Heading Out. Our inability to reconcile them reflects enlightenment thinking which requires either/or. I have come to understand the importance of embracing paradox…the ability to hold lightly apparently contradictory truths.
Allowing paradox to exist without trying to explain it away or simplify is a sign of a mature faith. It seems to me that a great deal of heretical thinking begins with a discomfort with tension and a need to simplify, clarify, and reduce complexity. Paradox, like harmony, elevates each distinct idea without calling for a compromise.
Jen Pollock Michel “Surprised by Paradox”
I am increasingly convinced choosing to hold on or head out is a critical juncture in one’s spiritual journey.
[Writing this post has made me realize, my decision to make this the last post in this series was premature , too many side trips to explore . Sorry for the detour today]
I have chosen to head out. Making that decision has not exempt me perils of the journey, ie rapids. Dynamic stability becomes relevant to those negotiating rapids or riding a bicycle. Having failed as promised in my previous post, my next post will explore dynamic stability in more detail and what it looks like for me negotiating the turbulent waters of these days.
…technology has unleashed the ever present malevolent potential of echo chambers in ways never imagined. Some would suggest that the existence of democracy is threatened.
The quote above is from the introduction to my essay “Echo Chambers” written in 2018. It seems more relevant today. This post is from that essay.
The Importance of Being Wrong
A whole lot of us go through life assuming that we are basically right , basically all the time , about basically everything : about our political and intellectual convictions , our religious and moral beliefs , our assessment of other people , our memories , our grasp of facts . As absurd as it sounds when we stop to think about it , our steady state seems to be one of unconsciously assuming that we are very close to omniscient . Far from being a sign of intellectual inferiority , the capacity to err is crucial to human cognition . Far from being a moral flaw , it is inextricable from some of our most humane and honorable qualities : empathy , optimism , imagination , conviction , and courage . And far from being a mark of indifference or intolerance , wrongness is a vital part of how we learn and change . Thanks to error , we can revise our understanding of ourselves and amend our ideas about the world . … it is ultimately wrongness , not rightness , that can teach us who we are . Schulz, Kathryn. Being Wrong: Adventures in the Margin of Error
The above quote captures the paradox each of us find ourselves in as we strive for meaningful and authentic lives. An unrelenting pursuit of rightness is pitted against our incontrovertible fallibility. Amazingly, left to our own devices, rightness will almost always win out. Our desire for rightness leads us to echo chambers where our “rightness” is amplified and error is filtered out. Like a butterfly from a cocoon, we emerge in the beauty of our rightness, confirmed in our infallibility.
The cost of rightness can be high. The avoidance of controversial issues or alternative solutions creates a loss of individual creativity, uniqueness and independent thinking. Rightness binds and blinds us. An “illusion of invulnerability” (an inflated certainty of our rightness) can prevail. Stereotyping of, and dehumanizing actions toward, dissenting persons can develop. As true believers we can produce fantasies that don’t match reality. Interpersonal communication outside our echo chamber is stifled. Immersion in the comfortable confines of an echo chamber may result in significant losses, not the least of which, can be family and community relationships.Echo chambers reinforce our natural tendency to restrict our relationships rather than expand our social interactions. Residing within an echo chamber strips our lives of serendipity and wonder. We trade off the opportunity to engage the endless diversity of the world around us.
Residing within an echo chamber strips our lives of serendipity and wonder. We trade off the opportunity to engage the endless diversity of the world around us.
We are not unlike “an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.” (C.S. Lewis) There is no price to high to maintain our rightness.
Embracing our wrongness
The most significant human trait that sustains and encourages the proliferation of and participation in harmful echo chambers is our unwillingness to entertain the possibility that we may be wrong. Without awareness and acceptance of our human fallibility, echo chambers will be a natural consequence in a society that is increasingly polarized.
…embracing our fallibility not only lessens our likelihood of erring , but also helps us think more creatively , treat each other more thoughtfully , and construct freer and fairer societies .
Schulz, Kathryn.
The challenge is how do we cultivate a healthy understanding and acceptance of our “wrongness”?
To err is to wander , and wandering is the way we discover the world ; and , lost in thought , it is also the way we discover ourselves . Being right might be gratifying , but in the end it is static , a mere statement . Being wrong is hard and humbling , and sometimes even dangerous , but in the end it is a journey , and a story . Who really wants to stay home and be right when you can don your armor , spring up on your steed and go forth to explore the world ? True , you might get lost along the way , get stranded in a swamp , have a scare at the edge of a cliff ; thieves might steal your gold , brigands might imprison you in a cave , sorcerers might turn you into a toad — but what of that ?
When encountering crisis, or navigating rushing rapids, holding on is not a viable option. As recognized in the previous post, holding on is a natural instinct, avoiding immediate disaster but insufficient for ultimate survival. Our amygdala induced response to crisis overrides rational response. In a previous post, I wrote about dynamic stability. I think the concept is helpful in trying to understand what it means to head out. Dynamic Stability When so many things are accelerating at once, it’s easy to feel like you’re in a kayak in rushing white water, being carried along by the current at a faster and faster clip. In such conditions, there is an almost irresistible temptation to do the instinctive thing—but the wrong thing: stick your paddle in the water to try to slow down. “Why ‘Keep Your Paddle in the Water’ Is Bad Advice for Beginners.” Have you ever stopped to consider what the phrase “keep your paddle in the water” actually means? If you did you wouldn’t ever recommend it to a beginner whitewater paddler. The paddlers and instructors who give this advice are well intended and what they are really expressing is: “Keep paddling to maintain your stability through rapids.” When beginners hear “keep your paddle in the water,” they end up doing a bad version of a rudder dragging their paddle in the water back by their stern while using their blade to steer. This is a really bad position to be in … To enhance stability in rapids it’s important to move as fast or faster than the current. Every time you rudder or drag your paddle in the water to steer you lose momentum and that makes you more vulnerable to flipping over. The only way to thrive is by maintaining dynamic stability—[a] bike-riding trick …But what is the [spiritual] equivalent of paddling as fast as the water or maintaining dynamic stability?
Kayaking rapids is an appropriate metaphor for our experience of chaos in 2020 and our immediate future.
Heading Out… responding faithfully and creatively to change, dangers and opportunities of chaos. Another way to illustrate holding on and heading out in crisis is driving an automobile. A treacherous experience driving can occur when you drift to the side and your wheels suddenly drop off the pavement. The immediate, and sometimes fatal, reaction is to jerk the steering wheel hard left to get back on the road. [Hold on] . Survival depends on a resisting panic and using proper techniques to avoid disaster. [Head Out]
What is it that keeps us from succumbing to panic and reacting in dangerous ways? Despite instruction and warnings. Heading Out… is the equivalent of …firmly grasp the wheel, do not hit the brakes, slow down and carefully return to the road…”
Although the idea of Holding On or Heading Out when faced with crisis, is applicable to everyone, my concern is for Christ followers. How Christ followers respond to crisis is shaped by our view of faith. Some, like myself early on, view faith as finite and bounded, something to be achieved and defended. Richard Rohr describes this view of faith well:
“If you surrender to the fear of uncertainty, life can become a set of insurance policies. Your short time on this earth becomes small and self-protective, a kind of circling of the wagons around what you can be sure of and what you think you can control–even God. It provides you with the illusion that you are in the driver’s seat, navigating on safe, small roads, and usually in a single, predetermined direction that can take you only where you have already been. For far too many people, no life journey is necessary because we think we already have all our answers at the beginning. ‘
For them, …holding on… is the only option. There is no capacity to see opportunity, only danger. What results are outcomes described in the previous post. HERE
…holding on… is the only option. There is no capacity to see opportunity, only danger.
Over the course of life I have come to view faith differently, I wrote previously:
I believe our lives are a journey. A healthy life is characterized by growth and change. Each day holds the prospect of adventure and discovery. Life is not defined by seeking a safe place and hunkering down insulated and protected from the world around us. Each of us possesses a deep longing to go home. To find our way to that place that we were created for. The pathway we take is not always pleasant and there are dangers to be dealt with. But, there are many beautiful experiences along the way. Wonderful relationships with people. Beautiful sights and sounds and smells. We do not travel alone. Our creator leads us and watches over us. He gives all that we need for our journey. We meet many people along the way. Some of them join us our journey. Some we encounter briefly. Some encourage us and offer provision of our journey. Others do not understand and become enemies bent on disrupting our pilgrimage. No matter what happens to us along the way, we continue to travel toward our destination because we trust our creator who loves us and will not abandon us on our journey. He has promised us life.
…thinking about life as a journey reminds me to stop trying to set up camp and call it home. It allows me to see life as a process, with completion somewhere down the road. Thus I am freed from feeling like a failure when things are not finished, and hopeful that they will be as my journey comes to its end.I want adventure, and this reminds me that I am living in it. Life is not a problem to be solved, it is an adventure to be lived. John Eldridge
It is easy to be deceived into thinking Holding On keeps us safe, but life is dynamic. Since Adam, when we, God’s created beings, rebelled and lost our home in God, we were destined to be restless wanders searching for a homeland. A thread that runs through the history of God’s dealing with mankind is the reality of their status as restless wanders in this world. Jesus said, “Follow me”. As he carried out his ministry, he wandered about, without house or home. “Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head.” Jesus did not say he was “the place” but “I am the Way”
As followers of Christ we have not arrived. We are people on “The Way, we are no longer restless wanders but are pilgrims bound for the homeland. As pilgrims we are “Heading Out”. Restless spiritual wandering becomes a spiritual journey following Christ.
In 2020 and now 2021 we are navigating dangerous rapids. These are times that expose the character of our faith.
The next post will examine the idea of dynamic stability for Christ followers in the rushing waters of our chaotic society.
Law It is a Reformational principle that the law cannot change the heart…but imposing the law makes us feel powerful, while living the Gospel is dying to self… Phoenix Preacher
Where is joy? The questions have assailed the mind and troubled the spirit; the answer is not in the earthquake of argument, or the wind of aggressive enquiry, or in the fire of logic energised by reason – but in the still small voice that can only be heard during a night walk in snowlight. Assailing questions remain with not a single answer found – but walking out now into the silence and the light under the trees, and through the fields, feels like one. Jim Gordon https://livingwittily.typepad.com/my_weblog/2021/02/a-poem-in-which-we-overhear-the-gentle-interrogation-of-the-heart-by-heart-stopping-beauty-.html
Once you are a follower of Jesus, being a sinner is not a very good excuse for bad behavior. Matt Redmond
Conservatives …conservatives are supposed to be the ones marshaling arguments against the idea that everything is permitted and that feelings trump facts. Instead, they’re growing content with casting themselves in a cautionary tale about the perils of phlebotinum poisoning. Jonah Goldberg (In science fiction writing, phlebotinum is shorthand for any “impossible or imaginary device which is used to move forward the plot of a TV show, book or film, especially in science fiction and fantasy.”)
Arguments Arguments now are about the marshaling of passions to will into existence what we want to be true, not to reveal what is true. Jonah Goldberg
Trust in the Lord “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding” [Proverbs 3:5]. For the first time, it dawned on me: there’s a difference between doubting God and doubting my understanding of God, just as there’s a difference between trusting God and trusting my understanding of God. Would I be able to doubt my understanding of God while simultaneously trusting God beyond my understanding? In a strange way, that question for the first time in my life allowed me to see God as a mystery distinct from my concepts of God. Brian McLearn
Leading as Christians Until professed Christians decide they’re going to lead with gentleness and not contempt, until they choose to actually read the Gospels and allow them to soften their hearts, and until they can find a faith that doesn’t require military-grade backup—they will continue to weaponize religion into something that doesn’t resemble Jesus and use it to wound other people. John Pavlovitz
We need kind people It seems like kind people are an endangered species. I don’t know whether they’ve gone or they’ve just gone silent, but the net result is that we have too many wounds and not enough healers. Our demand is far exceeding our supply right now. Or maybe they’re still here and just being drowned out by the clanging bombast of a cruelty that demands and so easily gets our attention, and we just need to help people notice them again. All I know is that we need kind people—now. John Pavlovitz
Epiphany An epiphany is a revelation. Often, it is not exactly new, but finally “seeing” what you have been looking at for so long. Epiphanies come when by some mysterious shift we cease to look “at” something and begin to see “into” it. The “eyes of our hearts are enlightened.” Epiphanies happen when observation gives way to flashes of insight. The edges of our faith so easily become flattened by the warp and woof of life, by traumatic disappointments on the one hand, and on the other by thousand mile stretches of endless monotonous flat highways across the great “plains” of life (sorry Kansas!). J D Walt
View from the Lanai Sometimes I wonder… when in conversation, I consistently reference beautiful weather, beach time; repeatedly expressing sorrow that they aren’t here to enjoy it with me …are relationships being strengthened?
It gives me pause for thought about how I handle blessings I enjoy. Do I share them in a way that portrays them as gracious gifts or as rewards for my diligence and righteousness ? Every good and perfect gift is from above….James 1:17
LISTEN OF THE WEEK
It’s two in the morning And I’m still awake in my bed And I can’t shake these lies that keep reading Around in my he-head What if I saw me, the way that You see me? What if I believed it was true? What if I traded, this shame and self-hatred? For a chance at believing You That You knit me together In my mother’s womb And You say that I’ve never been Hidden from You And You say that I’m wonderfully Wo-onderfully made You search me and know me You know when I sit, when I rise So You must know the choices I’ve, made And the pain that I hi-hide What if I saw me, the way that You see me? What if I believed it was true? What if I traded, this shame and self-hatred? For a chance at believing You ‘Cause You knit me together In my mother’s womb And You say that I’ve never been Hidden from You And You say that I’m wonderfully Wo-onderfully made And Your eyes, they have seen me Before I was born And You know all the good things That You made me for And I’m wonderfully Wo-onderfully made Oo-oo, oo-ooh Oo-oo-oo-ooh Oo-oo, oo-ooh Oo-oo-oo-oooh When I consider; the Heavens above Ohhh what is man, that You’re mindful of us ‘Til You say that we’re wonderfully Wo-onderfully made And You promise that You’ll never Leave me, oh Lord Oh that You hem me in, both behind and before And I’m wonderfully Wo-onderfully made And You knit me together In my mother’s womb And You say that I’ve never been Hidden from You And You say that I’m wonderfully Wo-onderfully made And Your eyes, they have seen me Before I was born And You know all the good things That You made me for And I’m wonderfully Wo-onderfully made Wonderfully made … Help me believe it Help me to see me Just like You see me Just like You made me Wonderfully ma-ade Yay-ay-ayy, ay-ayy Oo-oo, oo-ooh Oo-oo-oo-ooh Help me believe it Help me to see me Just like You see me Just like You made me Wonderfully ma-ade Yay-ay-ay …
