“You are going to feel like hell if you never write the stuff that is tugging on the sleeves of your heart — your stories, visions, memories, visions and songs. Your truth, your version of things, your own voice. That is really all you have to offer us. And that’s also why you were born.”
Anne Lamott
“You are going to feel like hell if you never write the stuff that is tugging on the sleeves of your heart — your stories, visions, memories, visions and songs. Your truth, your version of things, your own voice. That is really all you have to offer us. And that’s also why you were born.”
Anne Lamott
I am in the process of reading “Scarred by Struggle, Transformed by Hope” by Joan Chittister. In chapter 8 writing about “When Life is Interrupted”, I found her thoughts particularly relevant and helpful. Perhaps you will also.
When life is interrupted
The great interruptions of life leave us completely disoriented. We become lost. The map of life changes overnight and our sense of direction and purpose goes with it. Life comes to a halt, takes on a new and indiscernible shape. Promise fails us and it is the loss of promise that dries in our throats. What was is no more and what is to come, if anything, is unclear. All the things we depended on to keep us safe, to show us the way, to give us a reason for going on, disappear.
I understand only two things in my helpless rage: that there must be enemies somewhere and that they have managed to destroy me though see them I can’t and know them I don’t.
I am left plunged in black loneliness, the life behind me a little thinner now, the life before me a little less welcoming. Through it all, I find myself blindfolded and spinning somewhere in an inner space I have never known before.
We find ourselves on a wet, grey slope of sliding clay, being towed under, being swallowed up and taken down, no towline to save us. Who has not known this helpless, sinking feeling? Who has not known the God of Absence? Who has not felt abandoned by God?
It is the moment of personal crucifixion in which we finally say out loud what we most fear: that there is no God, at least not here, not now. “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” becomes a personal cry. In the depths of pain, we suddenly find that this universe is, at base, a gross and teasing thing, purposeless, unguided, unwanted, uncared for. We doubt the God of losses. We doubt the notion of any God at all. We certainly doubt that God has anything real to do with us. If there is a God, it is a God who laughs at butterflies impaled on a board.
Sure of the absence of God, we actually become aware of the presence of God. It is the paradox of faith. It is the fortunate misadventure of life. By losing everything, we come to the realization that everything is far less than we think it is and far more than we ever dreamed it could be. In the end, everything is what cannot be taken away, what cannot be lost, what will not fail us in our hope. Everything is the nagging awareness that always there is more and that I already have it. I am reduced by misery to stop and look through the darkness to the light on the horizon that never changes.
Struggle is what forces us to attend to the greater things in life, to begin again when life is at its barest for us, to take the seeds of the past and give them new growth.
We fear darkness and we avoid it. Nothing chills the soul more than lightlessness. It threatens our confidence. It jeopardizes our sense of self-sufficiency. To be in new space, to be where we do not know the contours of the place, cannot see the exit sign, cannot control the environment shakes us to our roots. We become pawns in the hands of the great unknown. And then, just then, we begin to believe in God in a whole new way. Darkness is the call to faith.
“…an expert in the law stood up to test Jesus. “Teacher,” he asked, “what must I do to inherit eternal life?” “What is written in the Law?” he replied. “How do you read it?” He answered, “?‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ ” Luke? ?10:25-27 NIV Jesus acknowledged the expert answered correctly.
“LoveThy Neighbor” is a big deal for me and, I think, for most Christians. That was true for the people of Israel in the Bible. My perception is, “Love thy Neighbor” is a mantra many Christians choose to characterize their faith. More importantly, unbelievers expect Christ followers to “Love thy Neighbor”.
Rightly or wrongly, loving my neighbor is a convenient bar against which I measure the validity of my and other’s faith. Somewhere along the way I heard you can’t love God and not love others. As a result, guidance in my daily life is largely shaped by “love your neighbor”.
No surprise, a recent blog post triggered thoughts on “Love thy Neighbor”. The coronavirus had already heightened my awareness of the need to love our neighbor. Now, the tragic and senseless murder of George Floyd, igniting protests across our country, has magnified “Love thy Neighbor”, and begs an answer to “Who is my neighbor?”
Pondering our current situation, the parable of the Good Samaritan (Luke 10:25-37) came to mind immediately. After re-reading the passage several times, I decided it might be helpful to imagine myself into the company of Jesus when he told that story. The following are what I imagine my thoughts might have been as I sat in the audience listening to Jesus.
…a religion scholar stood up with a question to test Jesus. “Teacher, what do I need to do to get eternal life?”
I’m glad that guy asked that question. I was just about to share my pamphlet, “What must I do to be saved”, with Jesus, he might find it helpful dealing with seminarians like that guy, who thinks he has all the answers.
Jesus answered, “What’s written in God’s Law? How do you interpret it?”
Wow, that’s Jesus, I couldn’t have said it better.
The seminarian answers, “That you love the Lord your God with all your passion and prayer and muscle and intelligence-and that you love your neighbor as well as you do yourself.” “Good answer!” said Jesus. “Do it and you’ll live.”
Didn’t see that coming! Jesus could definitely use my pamphlet. He really needs to put some meat on the bones of “Love the Lord your God…” . Maybe the know-it-all will test him further. After all, what good would a “What must I do to be saved?” pamphlet be that just says “…love the Lord your God with all your passion and prayer and muscle and intelligence-and that you love your neighbor as well as you do yourself.”?
Looking for a loophole, the seminarian asked, “And just how would you define ‘neighbor’?”
What a wimp! Instead of addressing the obvious, know-it-all wants to talk about who his neighbor is.He’s teed up, let him have it Jesus. I bet Jesus will tell a story like he usually does.
Jesus answered by telling a story. “There was once a man traveling from Jerusalem to Jericho. On the way he was attacked by robbers. They took his clothes, beat him up, and went off leaving him half-dead. Luckily, a priest was on his way down the same road, but when he saw him he angled across to the other side. Then a Levite religious man showed up; he also avoided the injured man.
Can you believe those religious guys ignored that poor guy? What were they thinking? The least they could have done was call 911. They probably didn’t want to get involved. Besides they had responsibilities.Defining who is my neighbor is really a no-brainer. Where is Jesus headed with this? Surely he’ll get to the 1st commandment. I’m disappointed he’s wasting an opportunity to elaborate on loving God with a story about loving your neighbor.
Jesus continued: “A Samaritan traveling the road came on him. When he saw the man’s condition, his heart went out to him. He gave him first aid, disinfecting and bandaging his wounds. Then he lifted him onto his donkey, led him to an inn, and made him comfortable. In the morning he took out two silver coins and gave them to the innkeeper, saying, ‘Take good care of him. If it costs any more, put it on my bill-I’ll pay you on my way back.’
What’s going on? Jesus is doubling down on the guy in the ditch? I got it, Jesus!, he’s a neighbor. I’ve have to admit,the Samaritan is a nice twist to the story. We can learn a lot from good hearted people like him. Jesus sure put that priest and Levite to shame. I really think it would have been better story if the priest or Levite had taken care of the guy. At a minimum, they would have given him a “What must I do to be saved?” pamphlet.There must be more to the story.Know-it-all looks as perplexed as I am.
Jesus speaks to know-it-all, “What do you think? Which of the three became a neighbor to the man attacked by robbers?” “The one who treated him kindly,” know-it-all replies. “Go and do the same.” Jesus says.
Isn’t that just like Jesus? You ask him to define who is my neighbor and he flips it to, “what does it mean to be a neighbor?” Jesus should run for office. Maybe I can catch him after we break up and give him a copy of my pamphlet?
“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.” Matt 5:43-48
Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for whoever loves others has fulfilled the law. The commandments, “You shall not commit adultery,” “You shall not murder,” “You shall not steal,” “You shall not covet,” and whatever other command there may be, are summed up in this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” Love does no harm to a neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law. Romans 13.8-10
For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.”Galatians 5.14
a story from Mac: A few weeks ago I was doing a community clean up in my neighborhood. I rode to the sign-in area with a neighbor, who was also the block captain. His SUV had a giant “Jesus Saves, Obama Spends” sticker on the window. When I got in the car, I had to move the enormous bible off the seat to make room. Clearly they were “gawd fearin’ Christians”.
Halfway through the clean up I approached a leaf-covered yard that others seemed to be skipping. I started to rake and the block captain ran up to me, pulled me aside and started speaking in a hushed voice.”We’re not doing that yard,” he said.
Why?”
“Because when my wife went looking for volunteers, he said he didn’t want to participate in ‘this crap’.”
“So?”
“So he isn’t getting his yard raked by us.”
I took a look down the street, at all the nicely raked lawns, and then at my neighbors truck, with the obnoxious window decal.
“You know what,” I said, “I’ll rake the yard, and if he wants to yell at someone for doing it, he can yell at me. His house is still part of the neighborhood.”
My neighbor, with his huge bible, bumper sticker and absurd blow-up nativity scene shook his head and left me to rake the yard alone.
I use the iPhone Notes app religiously ( no pun intended). Most often I save quotes, quips, etc from daily readings. I save them, hoping to eventually post about them or share later. Mostly they stay hidden on my iPhone. There is no intended theme or thread, but they may give some insight into the drumbeat in my head.
Life has changed Life has changed for good – I know, the phrase is uncomfortably ambiguous. But for those of us later in life it’s hard to see how we will ever get back to life as we have known it for so long. And yet. Hopefulness grows out of looking for goodness, beauty, and truth in a God-made and God-loved world. If life has changed for good, perhaps it is our calling now to realise good out of the way life has changed. Jim Gordon
Life Viewed through a Microscope The up-close detail and what is immediately at hand, when isolated from its place within Providence as a whole, can appear to be something that it is not. Such a false focus can be one of many formulas for an anxious existence. The “truth” of our existence is only revealed in the fullness of the truth which is made known to us in Christ’s Pascha. Fr Stephen Freeman
Broken spirituality …we feel the spiritual yearning burning in our hearts and souls, but we struggle to keep this quest from devolving into superficiality and triviality. We long for spiritual depth, but fear our “spiritual but not religious” approach to faith is just some mystical tinsel we’d sprinkled over our consumerism and self-absorption. Richard Beck
Really Jesus “Then he said to them, “Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; life does not consist in an abundance of possessions.””?
Slowing Down This quarantine has done one thing in particular to every one of us: it has slowed us down. It’s making us dig for life’s meaning, scoffing at our ideas of productivity, and more often than not our days end with us having made very little progress towards anything of value. It’s implanting a book-pace into our media-paced lives, and forcing us to face the characters and settings with which we find ourselves before we get anything in return.
I don’t think it’s an accident that our daily rhythms have been disrupted; I think we’re being shown just what it means to let slowness be a good thing. In Living Prayer, Benson writes, “in the society in which we live, the primary rule of work seems to be to cram as much into the hours of the day as you can. If you ask people how they are doing, they will say good or bad depending on how their work is going, regardless of whether or not their marriage is failing or their kids are in trouble or their house is on fire. We rush through the present toward some future that is supposed to be better but generally turns out only to be busier. ‘Be careful what you treasure,’ I read somewhere once…” Thomas Anderson
Expertise To reject the notion of expertise, and to replace it with a sanctimonious insistence that every person has a right to his or her own opinion, is silly… Worse, it’s dangerous. The death of expertise is a rejection not only of knowledge, but of the ways in which we gain knowledge and learn about things. Fundamentally, it’s a rejection of science and rationality… Now, anyone can bum rush the comments section of any major publication. Sometimes, that results in a free-for-all that spurs better thinking. Most of the time, however, it means that anyone can post anything they want, under any anonymous cover, and never have to defend their views or get called out for being wrong. In any discussion, you have a positive obligation to learn at least enough to make the conversation possible. The University of Google doesn’t count. Remember: having a strong opinion about something isn’t the same as knowing something. Tom Nichols “The University of Google, is where I got my degree from.”
Disturbance Dorotheus of Gaza, “The root of all disturbance, if one will go to its source, is that no one will blame himself.”
Let the Dance Begin . . .
Soon We now miss out on so much the graduation of a granddaughter, the wedding of a niece, the Final Four, the beginning of Baseball, the great Easter liturgy, the day by day interaction on the street. The virus has imposed a huge silence among us. It is a silence that evokes loneliness, and domestic violence, and job loss, and the end of life in the bars, and on the beach, and in the street.
We wait; we may wait in despair, or at least in deep disappointment. But we may also wait differently: we wait in confident faith; we wait in eager longing. we wait on the Lord. We wait for the future and against despair, because we know that you, the God of life, will defeat the force of death.
We know that the Friday execution could not defeat the life lived by Jesus nor the life lived by his faithful people. As we wait, we practice our next moves for the coming dance; it is only a little while . . . “yet a little while”; we will walk the long march of obedience; we will run the race of discipleship; we will soar like eagles into God’s good future of neighborliness. We know that you will overcome the silence because the silence . . . no more than the darkness . . . can overcome the Lord of Life. Amen.
One thing that has not changed significantly with the quarantine is my morning routine.Usually I rise around 7:00 am. After necessary morning exercises, I will spend time in devotional reading followed with reading blog posts from various sources I have in Feedly. Those posts cover a wide range of subjects including theology, religion, politics, news, opinion, personal journals, etc. Next comes e-mails,most of which are subscribed, ads or spam, with occasional personal ones. I have made a conscious effort to include sources that cross the divisions in our society. Under close scrutiny, I’m sure my biases would be exposed. At the least, they provide plausible deniability of prejudice and evidence of some semblance of open-mindedness.
As you might imagine, the amount of information can be daunting. It requires discipline to sort and prioritize my reading. Some days I resist FOMO (fear of missing out) and hit delete. Some days are a marvelous adventure, with one beautiful idea, thought, insight after another overflowing my cognitive bucket. At the point of saturation, I resort to Evernote and Notes to squirrel away nuggets for another time. For people with normal lives(?), this may sound OCD. I rationalize away that possibility by reminding myself that I am retired, old and can afford the expenditure of time and energy. (Ok, I said it’s a rationalization.)
I hear some mumbling, What is this all about and what does it have to do with “In the Middle”? Glad you asked.
Today’s reading included a post from Lee Camp’s “Tokens Show” blog. The post entitled “Humility and the Art of Politics: An Interview with Bill Haslam” included a transcript of the interview. The idea of being in the middle came to mind reading a portion of the transcript. I subsequently listened to the entire interview and highly recommend it. There is a link to the podcast on the blog page.
IN THE MIDDLE
For several decades I have been in the middle. By that, I mean my understandings and beliefs with regard to religion, theology, politics, science, and other areas could be located in the middle of a long continuum bounded by extremes. In a pluralistic society, being in the middle can be risky. This was particularly true for me, since I reside in the right quadrant of the continuum. Despite the inevitability of conflict and disagreement, being the middle affords opportunity to engage both left and right. The span of the middle was broad, giving latitude where one might settle between extremes. Over the years I found the middle increasingly desirable place to be.
Things have changed. With the advent of culture wars and political polarization, the middle has become more like “no man’s land” of WWI trench warfare. A dangerous place where only heroes and fools enter. Unlike 1919, the is no pause for a sacred night, or a pandemic. Opposing forces pledged to destroy their enemies are poised to attack anyone entering the middle. Fewer are willing venture into the middle seeking unity and peace, the price is too high.
The continuum’s shallow bell curve of earlier years has been inverted to a U curve. The span of the middle has narrowed and extremes have heightened. Participation in the middle has diminished with the increase of resentment and rejection. Change has progressed slowly, but steadily over past decades. The current pandemic has put the depth of the U curve in sharp relief. “No man’s land” is deadly for all who enter.
As a “middle man” I am keenly aware of the peril. although not in mortal danger, relationships, influence and acceptance are at risk. there is a cost and it becoming more expensive. With increased costs, the herd in the middle is being thinned out.
Some thoughts on being in the middle after listening to Bill Haslam: 1. I have concluded that Christ followers should reside in the middle. (That is worthy of serious, in-depth conversations and I am fully aware of its implications) 2. Listening to the Haslam interview I was surprised and a bit perplexed when I realized the most likely group to accompany Christ followers in the middle are elected public servants (aka politicians). By virtue of being elected in a pluralistic society, politicians reside in the middle, always contending with contrasting views. (not withstanding gerrymandering, of course). 3. Understanding we are in the same foxhole gives me more empathy for politicians, heroes and fools. 4. Haslam, former governor of Tennessee and a Christ follower provided insights into the apparent paradox of being a Christ follower in the middle. I believe they can be helpful in thinking about how and why Christ followers should reside in the middle.
Excerpts from Bill Haslem interview
There were times when I would do things that had conservatives really mad at me, and then liberals really mad at me the next day.
Always remember, the other fellow might be right.
If you asked me if I had a message for Christians that enter the public arena in any form, whether as a candidate, as somebody that’s supporting a cause or whatever it is, you start with this idea that we can argue a lot about what the Bible says about a lot of different topics. The one thing we cannot argue with is we’re called to humbleness and we’re called to gentleness, and we’re called to being open to reason.
You know, the word tolerance I think has gotten overused and misused. Tolerance I don’t think is supposed to be anything goes and whatever you believe is just fine and can be true too. I think we are called to be open and willing to listen. And I think that’s what tolerance actually means. It doesn’t mean that whatever you say is true, I’m fine with it, because I don’t believe that, but it does mean I’m supposed to be open to listening to understand what it is you believe.
“I always remind myself that no matter what they think about me, they don’t know the half of it, that I’m way worse than you think I am.”
I use the iPhone Notes app religiously ( no pun intended). Most often I save quotes, quips, etc from daily readings. I save them, hoping to eventually post about them or share later. Mostly they stay hidden on my iPhone.This post starts a new category of posts “Notes Anthology”. Occasionally, I will post a random collection of saved notes. There is no intended theme or thread, but they may give some insight into the drumbeat in my head.
May 17, 2020
Beehive Hairdos Roy Horn of Siegfried & Roy died this past week. In the years after the mauling, Mr. Horn and Mr. Fischbacher tried to minimize what was widely reported as a ferocious attack. They said the tiger had been unhinged by a woman in the front row with a beehive hairdo and the sight of Mr. Horn tripping as he tried to step between them, and that the tiger had picked Mr. Horn up by the neck, as a tigress might a cub, and was attempting to carry him to safety. I believe beehive hairdo is the most plausible explanation.
Really, Jesus! “ Jesus knew their thoughts and said to them: “Any kingdom divided against itself will be ruined, and a house divided against itself will fall.”??Luke? ?11:17? ?NIV??
Mantra – A personal mantra is an affirmation to motivate and inspire you to be your best self. It is typically a positive phrase or statement that you use to affirm the way you want to live your life. … The true value of a mantra comes when it is audible, visible, and/or in your thoughts. Thinking about what my personal manta is…?
Quarantine Illusions – If you squint you could almost make sense of this quarantine as an effort to flatten, along with the curve, the distinctions we make between our bonds with others. Right now, I care for my neighbor in the same way I demonstrate love for my mother: in all instances, I stay away. Nora Caplan-Bricker, Lost Illusions
Confession – I think it’s not so much the sin that offends God as it is the refusal to come clean and confess it as sin. It’s the hiding, blaming, excuses, and self-deception that grieves the heart of God. That’s the difference between an admission and a confession. An admission says, “I did it, but it was not my fault.” A confession is simple honesty before God about what is true. J D Walt
Endurance – Endurance is patience. It is shortening your time horizon so you just have to get through this day. Endurance is living with unpleasantness. In fact, it is finding you can adapt and turn the strangest circumstance into routine. Endurance is fortifying. It is discovering you can get socked in the nose and take it. Above all, endurance is living with uncertainty. Sometimes, it’s remaining quiet in the face of uncertainty because no conjecture will really tell you what is coming. Endurance is the knowledge that the only way out is through and whatever must be borne will be borne. David Brooks
Job – “It is presumptuous to comment on the book of Job. It is so full of the awesome reality of the living God. Like Job, one can only put one’s hand over one’s mouth.” Francis I Andersen
Imagination – It must therefore be by the exercise of that faculty [Imagination] that one moves towards faith. Poems present their testimony as circumstantial evidences, not as closing argument. Where Wallace Stevens says,’God and the imagination are one’, I would say that the imagination, which synergizes intellect, emotion and instinct, is the perceptive organ through which it is possible, though not inevitable, to experience God.” (A Poet’s View.) JimGordon
What the Fig Tree Said Denise Levertov
Literal minds! Embarrassed humans! His friends were blurting for Him in secret: wouldn’t admit they were shocked. They thought Him petulant to curse me!—yet how could the Lord be unfair?—so they looked away, then and now. But I, I knew that helplessly barren though I was, my day had come. I served Christ the Poet, who spoke in images: I was at hand, a metaphor for their failure to bring forth what is within them (as figs were not within me). They who had walked in His sunlight presence, they could have ripened, could have perceived His thirst and hunger, His innocent appetite; they could have offered human fruits—compassion, comprehension— without being asked, without being told of need. My absent fruit stood for their barren hearts. He cursed not me, not them, but (ears that hear not, eyes that see not) their dullness, that withholds gifts unimagined.
