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Family Lore

Recently I was reminded of a story from my mother’s family that has been a part of our family lore for as long as I can remember. Often we assume that everyone knows the family history but more often than not, important and interesting stories get lost in the passing of generations. For that reason, I though it would good to document the story for family who may not know or remember.

In my mind, mother’s family was a bit strange. There was the usual family drama but there were circumstances which set the Page’s apart. The subject story of this post is about my grandfather, William Columbus Page aka Mr. Billy. To me he was Papa.

Papa was a cotton farmer and had two brothers and one sister, Luke, Jimmy and Ninnie. My recollection is that Luke was the dominant brother, a hard, no nonsense man. Jimmy was a “good ole boy” and fun to be around. I only knew Ninnie in her later years  when she came to live with Papa after being released from the “insane asylum” in Tuscaloosa. She had been confined there for decades and as a result of her shock treatments was a passive and compliant old lady who dipped snuff.

Two characteristics come to mind when i think of Papa. He was a deeply religious Methodist and stubborn to a fault. Hard headed as my mother would say.  There is more that could be said about Papa, but I want to get to the story.

Mr. Billy Page

The following is a story in the life of  William Columbus Page.   I am sharing it as it was related to me by my mother, as best I can remember.

Billy Page married Nellie Thornton and there were five children born to them. Two died in infancy and three survived, including my mother Aurelia , sister Izora and brother Bill born in 1923. My grandmother Nellie died in 1926. At age 13 my mother assumed responsibility for mothering her siblings. I do not know the circumstances of my granmother’s death. As the story goes, Papa was deeply affect by her death to the point that her made a vow not to speak again until he heard otherwise from God. For the next three years he kept that vow despite his brothers attempts to goad him into speaking. Their harrassment might have seemed cruel except for the fact that Papa would read his Bible and pray aloud in the evenings.

On the evening of July 28, 1929, returning to his house with a team of mules ahead of a threatening thunderstorm, lighting struck. The mules were killed. Papa was struck unconscious. The metal buttons on his bib overalls were melted and the house was set on fire. As it happened there was a man passing by who came to investigate and finding Papa unconscious and not breathing administered artifical respiration until he began to breathe again. Bystanders extinguished the house fire using milk from near by milk cans. I presume that Papa interpreted that event as the sign he was looking for, as my mother said, he never quit talking after that.

That’s the story and I’m sticking by it.

As is often the case, there is more to the story. Cinflicting accounts have come to light as I researched for this blog post. Beyond my memory of mother’s story, there is a newspaper article that documented the events of July 28. I also had conversation wih my cousin Jerry Page.

Here are some twists to the story as I related it.

  • Jerry rembers being told that Papa was struck by lighting twice. The first occasion came several years before 1929 and his team of mules were killed. He was unable to speak following that event. There is no mention in the later newspaper article regarding mules being killed in July 1929.
  • The newspaper article reported that Papa had suffered a paralytic stroke in 1922 that rendered him speechless. He was able to speak after he was revived. It was noted that his son Bill was able to hear his father speak for the first time.

What seems to be relatively certain is:

  • When Papa was struck by lighting in 1929 he was unable/ unwilling to speak. He began speaking after the event.
  • There is no corrobration of his vow not to speak.
  • He was stubborn enough and devout enough to make and keep such a vow.
  • In any case, his survival was a miracle as was the return of his speech.

Since there are no surving witnesses or anyone who would have second hand information, I am going to hold on to the story that I was told.   That’s how family lore goes.

Bill, Izora, Aurelia

 

 

Reflection- How God has worked in my life

How God has worked in my life

Notes from a talk at Central Church of Christ Sarasota, FL. 2008

Time will not permit me to retrace all the steps of my journey over the past decades, but I will share this with you.  We are on a never-ending journey.  When I reach heaven, I won’t suddenly “know God” and “know the whole story”.  We’ll always be learning—even in heaven.

I believed, (until the past 5 or so years) that life was “getting things together”.  I lived to get:

Control – manage my work life, my family life, my Christianity

Stability – manage my finances, be stable in my work and get ahead

Predictability – God would be pleased with me.

If I achieved this, I would be successful “Financially, in my work life, in my family or home life, and in my religious life.”   I believed that I had to: 

  1. decide what I want out of life, and
  2. decide how to get it done

If I did this, I was successful.

There are only two ways to look at life:  Decide what you want and get it done

                                 Or

                                         Live each day in search of God

I went with the first philosophy.  I believed it to be true even in my religious life—

“Decide what God wanted of you and get it done.”

But I learned that it doesn’t work that way. 

You will find a card in my Bible dated Jan. 4, 2003.  What is recorded there is the product of an intensive personal search for God’s direction culminated by several days of retreat with Ann in the Smokey Mountains.  On one side you will find Psalms 37:3-8:

Trust in the LORD and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.

Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this

He will make righteousness shine like the dawn,

   the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.

Be still before the LORD; and wait patiently for him;

Do not fret when men succeed in their ways,

   when they carry out their  wicked schemes

Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret—it leads only to evil.

It was from that passage God revealed to me instructions for the journey ahead.

  • Trust in the LORD and do good.
  • Delight yourself in the LORD.
  • Commit your way to the LORD. 
  • Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him.
  • Refrain from anger and turn from wrath.

Also, from that retreat experience came some spiritual commitments, which I recorded, on the other side of the card.  They are:

  • Continually and consistently seek the presence of God
  • Continue to identify and remove the “beam from MY eye”
  • Strive for balance between my inner focus and outreach.  Be salt and light.
  • Continue to pursue a deeper relationship with my spouse.
  • Strengthen spiritual disciplines in my life on a day-to-day basis by adopting a “Rule of Life”—intentionality.
  • Develop a deeper understanding of spiritual leadership and model that understanding in my own leadership.

That retreat experience,  joined with the journey before, carved out my pathway for the last three years. 

Now, we think of commitments in an odd way.  We think we need to be “committed” as Christians.  

I’ll commit to 30 minutes of prayer daily.

I’ll commit to an hour of Bible study daily.

I’ll commit to Sunday mornings and Wednesday nights.

I’ll commit to the spiritual disciplines.

If I achieve this, I’ll be successful.  But in my life, this hasn’t worked.  Are these things bad?  No, of course not.  But if we’re doing them to be “committed Christians” or to be “successful in God’s sight”,  we’ve missed the boat.  Who has given you that image for what God has called you to do? 

A. W. Tozer said,

“What comes into our minds when we think about God is the most important thing about us. The history of mankind will probably show that no people has ever risen above its religion, and man’s spiritual history will positively demonstrate that no religion has ever been greater than its idea of God.  Worship is pure or base as the worshiper entertains high or low thoughts of God. For this reason the gravest question before the church is always God Himself, and the most portentous fact about any man is not what he at any time may say or do, but what he in his deep heart conceives God to be like.” (book – “Knowledge of the Holy”)

Why don’t we stop being committing Christians, and start being “submissive” Christians?  Commitment still leaves ME in control.  Jesus did not ask for commitment.  He asked for surrender.  That’s what God asks of us.  He wants our surrender to Him . . . not a commitment to activities.  And when I think of surrender, I think militarily.   If you surrender, you are stripped of everything.  You are stripped naked!

If this tweaks your mind, you may think, “I can’t”,  “I must”,   “I couldn’t”.  But keep in mind that it’s not a determination.  It’s a transformation.  IF I stop trying to make it happen; IF I stop using MY will power (I’m still in control, aren’t I?);  IF I can relax and let God work; THEN, and only then, will it become a transformation.  That’s what submission is.   That’s what surrender is.

Even when “I determined” to do God’s will (on my own power),  God brought tremendous good into it.  My life, up till then, wasn’t negative.  God was still working and using me.  But after I came to realize to simply submit is when I really bloomed. 

More important than any decision I might make it that each of us put our trust and confidence in God alone.  Consider the words of Psalm 73:

. . . I am always with you;

     you hold me by my right hand.

You guide me with your counsel,

     and afterward you will make me into glory.

Whom have I in heaven but you?

     And earth has nothing I desire besides you.

My flesh and my heart may fail,

     but God is the strength of my heat

     and my portion forever.

I want to close my remarks with lyrics from a song I heard recently and they express the thoughts of my heart in these days:

Give me one pure and holy passion

Give me one magnificent obsession

Give me one glorious ambition for my life

To know and follow hard after You

To grow as your disciple in your truth

This world is empty, pale, and poor

Compared to knowing you, my LORD

Lead me on and I will run after you.

Conversation and Community

This is a repost and update of a previous post entitled Changing the Nature of Conversation. Recent conversations prompted this repost.

Recently Wade Hodges’s blog linked to a booklet entitled Civic Engagement and the Restoration of Community: Changing the Nature of Conversation. It is authored by Peter Block and others. The purpose of the material is to present a set of ideas and tools designed to restore and reconcile community by shifting the nature of public conversation.  Although the subject put me off a bit, as I read through the material I found the information and ideas compelling. I believe the nature of our conversations can be a reliable barometer of the depth and meaning of our relationships as well as a powerful force in building and sustaining community. What follows is my interpretation/re-statement/paraphrase of some of the concepts and principles in the booklet.

Language has power. How we speak to each other is the medium through which a more positive future is created or denied. As we engage in conversation the questions we ask and the speaking that they evoke constitute powerful action. The questions we ask will either maintain the status quo or bring an alternative future into the room. There are traditional questions which have little power to create a future different from the present. These questions are, in the asking, the very obstacle to what has given rise to the question in the first place. For example, these questions seem to be universal to conversations about organizational issues:

  • How do we hold people accountable?
  • How do we get people to show up and be committed?
  • How do we get others to be more responsible?
  • How do we get people on-board and to do the right thing?
  • How do we get others to buy into our vision?
  • How do we get these people to change?i
  • How much does it cost and where do we get the money?
  • How do we negotiate for something better?
  • What new policy or legislation will more our interests forward?
  • Where is it working? 
  • Who has solved this elsewhere and how do we import the knowledge?

In answering these questions we support the dominant belief that a different future can be negotiated, mandated, and controlled into existence. They call us to try harder at what we have been doing. They urge us to raise standards, measure more closely, and return to the basics, purportedly to create accountability, but in reality maintain dominance. These questions are wrong, not because they don’t matter, but because they have no power to make a difference in the world. These questions are the cause of the very thing that we are trying to change: fragmented and unproductive communities.

In a related post I wrote about questions and how, in our conversations, they impact community. It was stated that the traditional questions that permeate conversation regarding organizational issues, have no power to change the future, to make a difference.

I recognize that truth in my own experience. In my corporate days, I sat in many meetings where the traditional questions dominated. They would create a frenzy of helplessness and hopelessness. On more than one occasion, I was compelled to comment to the participants that it was apparent that there was nothing that could be done and the company would be best served by us committing an honorable suicide. We didn’t and nothing changed. Sadly the process was repeated over and over. There was no enlightened leadership that understood the nature of great questions to lead us out of our squirrel cage existence.

 

 

Intersections – Career Path

 

At twenty years of age, newly married, with a baby on the way and working part-time for $1.25 per hour, I was thinking more of short term survival than the future or a career path. I was not thinking of my life as a journey, certainly not a spiritual journey. In those circumstances I was living life like a teenaged driver, driving too fast on unfamiliar roads at night, only able see as far as the headlights allow. The only direction I had was, “keep her between the ditches”. Careening down the road, I took the first turn that came my way.

It was 56 years ago that I walked into the Ford Motor Company Nashville Glass Plant as a new employee. It was both exciting and scary. Getting to work at Ford was a blessing. The opportunity did not come not because I had been recruited for my skills and talents. Joe Clark, a good friend of Ann’s family worked there and had the influence to get me hired. He literally sneaked into the employment office past others waiting for an opportunity to go to work. Ann and I did not have two pennies to rub together. We were living with the Clark’s until we could get on our feet. I guess I couldn’t reach my bootstraps.

For the next 40+ years my life was pretty much defined by “I work at Ford’s”. My work experience was rewarding both materially and personally. I am thankful for the opportunity that came my way and it is good to be reminded that it was only because of the graciousness of others that it was possible.

Not all intersections are opportunities to decide which direction you will take. Sometimes they are a cattle chute. So much for career planning.

 

 

Intersections – It is not good for man to travel alone

What has proven to be the most significant intersection of my journey came on the first day of classes at Abilene Christian College (now Abilene Christian University) in  September 1960. ( Full disclosure: there has been some disagreement over the details of the story to follow. However, my account is completely true to my memory.)

The first class I attended was something like University 101, an orientation class for freshman. It was held in a large classroom with 150+ in attendance. I arrived late and there were no visible empty seats, so I made my way to the back of the room. About 3/4 of the way back, I was surprised to hear a sultry voice call out, “You can sit here, big boy.” I looked over and there was this attractive brunette with a weird small gray streak in her hair with an empty seat beside her. Although, I managed to appear unfazed, as though I was used to such come ons, I was stunned. I did not know her name but she knew mine. 

That’s how George ezell from Florence, Alabama first met Ann Watson, aka Dee Ann Watson, from Memphis, Tennessee. That first encounter was interesting but I did not perceive it to be “the moment”. At that point, I don’t think either of us thought anything would come out of our meeting. It was only later that I came to understand that there may have been forces at work beyond our understanding. 

I had no idea that In 1937 L. Arnold Watson traveled from Idaho to attend Abilene Christian College. On the first day of classes he met Ruby Mae White from Abilene, Texas who was also starting her college career. Their meeting began a courtship that would result in their marriage two years later. Leaving Abilene to move to California, they eventually had five children, three boys and two girls. Four of those children, including Dee Ann Watson, attended ACC. 

Our first meeting pushed the pebble off the ledge. After a slow start our relationship began to gain momentum and by the end of the second year we were engaged and left Abilene and married in June 1962. Subsequently, we had five children, three boys and two girls. Four of our children attended ACU. 

For 56+ years Ann has been my traveling companion. I hope that the legacy of her parents will continue and we also will enjoy 74 years of marriage.