For the Joy of the Journey

The past eight weeks, perhaps, have been some of the most difficult days of our marriage. They have been filled with loss, both anticipated and unexpected. We have struggled with grief and guilt, sorrow and pain, the depths of which have been magnified by the ” joyous” Christmas season.  There has been no absence of care and concern, prayers and condolences, for which we are truly grateful. We know we will survive. Our trust in God has suffered deep tremors but remains intact.

So what is the deal with Mary Poppins?

On Christmas Day, with family and friends we went see the movie “Return of Mary Poppins”. Mostly to be with loved ones, we tagged along. Surprisingly to me, the theater was full and we got the full impact of the big screen on the third row from the front. The movie is a redux with beautiful and talented actors. As I became immersed in the fantastical story, music and dancing, it was as if I was being transported  to a place of wonder and magic, a welcome refuge from grief and sorrow. I was experiencing a balm for my soul that I do not understand or expect but, strangely, yearn for.

I have given considerable thought to that experience. Why and how did it speak to my grief and sorrow? Why has my grief been so persistent when there is such hope and reassurance in my deeply held faith in God? Why did that Mary Poppins movie provide  a balm that my faith and fellow believers didn’t? I’m certain that I do not have satisfactory answers to those and many other questions, but I believe I have some glimpses that have put me on a path to deeper understanding.  It begins with disenchantment.

Coincidentally, or maybe not so coincidentally, the subject of disenchantment has surfaced in in my reading and listening as of late

Most of what I will share in the rest of this post is derived from a blogposts by Richard Beck. I would encourage you to read it before proceeding.We live in an age of disenchantment.

In his book The Secular Age Charles Taylor discusses the transitions that have occurred in Western societies over the last 500 years. The world in 1500 was experienced very differently our world in 2000. Specifically, we have moved from an enchanted age to a disenchanted age. Taylor notes that there are two major symptoms marking the transition from enchantment to disenchantment.

First, in the enchanted age the world had a vertical, spiritual dimension. Human events intermingled with spirits, God, and magic. But over the last 500 years this vertical/spiritual dimension has collapsed. The world has become disenchanted. Nowadays, only human agency or scientific law can function for us as causal forces. As Taylor notes we now live in an immanent age. Only the flat, horizontal dimension exists for us
The second symptom of disenchantment is the rise of the buffered self. In the enchanted age the self was at the crossroads of a great deal of spiritual traffic. Spells, demons, or God could penetrate the boundaries of the self. During the enchanted age the self was porous. But in an immanent age the walls of the self become firmer and clearer. The self becomes isolated and closed in upon itself. This is the buffered self.
Although many things were gained with disenchantment, there now exists a certain malaise with immanence and the buffered self.With disenchantment we have lost a sense of depth.As Taylor notes,”There is a generalized sense in our culture that with the eclipse of the transcendent, something may have been lost.”

Thinking about Beck’s reflections on Charles Taylor’s  understandings of  disenchantment, my experience with “Return of Mary Poppins” begins to make more sense. My life is more about disenchantment than enchantment.

The disenchanted life is lived on a horizontal plane, where preeminent values are utility and efficiency.  There is an absence of depth to life, which creates a nagging sense of undefined dissatisfaction. One’s sense of self is diminished, feeling like just one thing among other things. Mostly, disenchantment is running in the background of our lives , subtlety but surely molding our day to day attitudes and experiences. To hear someone who, by all accounts enjoys a good life, proclaim their “life is a struggle” betrays the influence of disenchantment.

What most reveals disenchantment in our life is the occurrence of crisis. It is in the context of crisis that the question of meaning predominates: Why?, What’s the point? What does this mean? et al. It is in crisis that we begin to understand the loss we have sensed but have been unable to define, namely meaning and purpose. The great difficulty of disenchantment is issues of meaning.

Meaning in life comes from transcending the horizontal plane of a disenchanted existence. What that transcendence is, is a question to be addressed more broadly in future posts. But, for the immediate questions regarding my Mary Poppins experience, here is what I think.

The balm I experienced with Mary Poppins was a brief, albeit, timely antidote to my grief and sorrow which had been untempered by the shallow depth of daily existence. As Richard Beck observed, “…the sharp sting of lamentation edges us back toward enchantment…”. In those few moments I was reminded that there is more to life than the meager offerings of our disenchanted existence. Mary Poppins took me to a higher plane enabling me to gain better perspective on my current circumstances. For that I am grateful.

Who need Mary Poppins?  Everyone does!

Afterword:
I assume that those who read this will have many of the same questions that I have had as I wrote this. Really, is Mary Poppins all we need? What about God, faith, religion, therapy, yoga, meditation, et al?
No Mary Poppins is not the answer. What my encounter with Mary Poppins created is questions, not answers. The idea of disenchantment/ enchantment represents another intersection on my journey which provides opportunity for deeper understanding of the meaning and purpose of my life. It is my my hope that readers will find a similar challenge.