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Faulty Memory

Over the years, I have had concerns about my lack of memory of many of our family experiences. After thinking on that, I decided that I was (am?) seriously unbalanced. Not so much mentally unbalanced as spiritually unbalanced. Let me explain. Some years ago, Jon Weese in his series of lessons entitled East to West introduced me to two Hebrew words I was unfamiliar with … halacha and haggadah. At the time it was interesting but I sort of filed the thoughts away. Later, I came across the terms again in reading some material on parables. This time a light came on, particularly about my lack of memory. First let me define halacha and haggadah as I have come to understand them and then I will try to make my point about being spiritually unbalanced and bad memory. halacha – In common expression – “Jewish law”. Conceptually it means legal lore. Halacha deals with subjects that can be expressed literally. Halacha teaches how to participate , gives knowledge, norms for action and deals with details. haggadah – A word for a particular ritual of the Passover Seder meal during which the story of the passover is told.

The term haggadah simply means “narration” in Hebrew and, in Jewish tradition, it basically refers to discussions about classical Jewish literature which does not involve legal matters – anything which is not halakah. (About.com)
The nature of haggadah in contrast to halacha is that it focuses on the heart and imagination, introducing a realm which lies beyond the range of expression. It provides aspiration, a vision for the ends of living. Haggadah inspires people. It captures the heart through imagination. It reaches out and takes hold of the spiritual qualities of the human heart. It reveals God’s presence in personal experience. Haggadah reaches the heart and challenges the mind. It inspires people to see God’s image – even in the face of another human being with a wretched, uncomely appearance. The intellect grabs the meaning of Biblical text but haggadah penetrates the heart with the message that every human being is created in the image of God. (from The Parablesby Brad Young)

After thinking about my memory problem I have decided that it is not a memory problem at all. It is a sight/perception problem. I can remember many things that occurred during the same time periods that I cannot remember other things, particularly family moments. So what does that have to do with halacha and haggadah? Halacha and haggadah are two different concepts of interpreting scripture as they are commonly used but I think they are also lens through which we interpret and understand life and relationships. A balanced person will will employ both halacha and haggadah in understanding life’s experiences. It is my opinion that very few people are perfectly balanced in that way. Most of of us are biased toward one or the other. It is analogous to being “right” brained or “left” brained. In fact, it is an important task in our lives to understand and achieve a healthy appreciation for the “left” and the “right”. But, unfortunately, we can become “unbalanced”, not just biased but “clinically” unbalanced i.e. spiritually unbalanced. I believe that is why I have little memory of many important events. My lens for viewing life experiences was so colored by halacha that I had little appreciation or recognition of anything that I could not see through that lens. This begs a number of questions … What causes a person to be “spiritually unbalanced”? Is there a cure? What are the implications to my understanding of scripture and my relationship to God? Of course, some may question my conclusions entirely but that would be welcome.

At Home in Truth

… not many of us are at home in the truth.  We are moderately good people but because we are only moderately good self-deception is an endemic problem.  Genuinely bad people often have less illusion about themselves and the world than those of us who try to be morally pretty good people.  We discover, for example, that in our interactions with those with whom we are closest it is quite difficult not to lie.  I suspect you will discover, and I suspect many of you already discovered, that in your most serious relationships, which sometimes will be marriage, you will fear telling the one you love the truth because the truth will threaten the fragile intimacy that originally sustained the relationship.  That is why I have never trusted declarations by couples that claim they have always had a happy marriage.  That just tells me someone lost early.

From Stanley Hauerwas 

Working at UPS

New (?) Adventure (2006)

It was my first day to report to UPS for work. Two days of orientation and then I get serious. I’m looking forward to the experience. It will mean some adjustments to my daily routine. My shift is M-F 10am-3pm. Change is good for me.

Certified

I received my UPS training certification. I am fully trained in all aspects of safety, quality and performance (well, we’ll see about the performance). It is very interesting to meet the people working as package handlers. With only a couple of exceptions, I probably have 30-40 years on them. I also got my first check. The best part was I didn’t make enough to have to pay any federal and state income taxes.

Life Lessons from Loading

I am working steadily at loading packages, I’ve recognized there are lots of life lessons to be learned from the work and the means and methods that they teach you.

Today’s life lessons:

  • You always need a cornerstone package to start the load.
  • Heavy packages on the bottom.
  • Light packages on the top.
  • Always ask for assistance to handle packages that are too heavy or awkward.

Those who have ears let them hear.

Life Lessons from Loading (Gifted)

I have often thought about in what way God has gifted me. Yesterday my loading trainer told me that I was doing a really good job. “You’ve got the gift”, she said. “What gift, I asked”? Her reply was, “You know. The gift of loading”. Well, I’m not sure what I will do with my gift after Christmas, but it is good to finally know I am gifted.

More “Life Lessons from Loading”

  • Loading is really easy when the packages are all relatively uniform. The difficult part comes when you have to deal with the “irregulars”, the packages that are odd shaped and non-conforming.
  • Hazardous material requires special handling.

Reflections on Working at UPS

My short career at UPS ended Friday 12/15/2006. I was hired as seasonal help and I had no intention of extending my time. In fact, most seasonal employees work until New Year’s but Florida called and I answered. My experience at UPS was interesting on several levels. Most people when they found out I was working there seem surprised. They would ask, “Why would you do that”? I didn’t usually give a direct answer but the question is valid. The work is hard and physical. I’m an old man and there are a lot of jobs that pay as much or more and don’t require as much effort. The pay is a small fraction of what I have been paid in recent jobs. There weren’t many hours available and I would only be working until we leave for Florida.

So why did I choose to go to UPS. The most objective answer is the hours were good. I signed up for 10 am to 4 pm M-F only. Those hours let me work without disrupting much of my normal routine. Another attraction was the physical challenge. I had heard a lot about how difficult package handling is and I was anxious to see if I was up to it. Well it was difficult and I was up to it; not withstanding the hot whirlpool baths and 800 mg of ibuprofen each day. I must admit I’m not sure what I would have done if it had been summer time. The money was not the main reason for working but I sure wouldn’t have worked for nothing.

I did feel I needed to work. Work is intrinsically good and the fact that I was working was good for me. Everyone needs the pleasure of working, of having a task to be done and achieving it and knowing you did it well. I was told I have the gift of loading. At a deeper level, my decision to work relates to a nagging need to be in the “market place”. I feel that I have been isolated from the “real world” in almost every circumstance. Working at UPS certainly filled that need. It also provided an opportunity to interact with people without the costumes of identities that I have accumulated in my life, i.e. Ford manager, church leader/member, Bible teacher, Bachelor of Science, Master of Science. Those identities are not bad but they become lens through which people view you and form pre-conceived notions about who you are and what you believe. More importantly, when you are identified through those lens you are treated differently and relationship can be impeded or diminished. Perhaps it was a Prince and the Pauper kind of experience. I am not ashamed of the opportunities and accomplishments of my life but in our culture they can easily become the source of purpose and meaning for our lives. The UPS experience offered an opportunity to engage people in way not normally available in my every day circumstances. I am very reluctant to compare my efforts to what Paul described in his Philippian letter but in an embarrassingly small way my UPS experience was a clumsy attempt to follow Paul’s counsel in my life.

The very credentials these people are waving around as something special, I’m tearing up and throwing out with the trash along with everything else I used to take credit for.

And why? Because of Christ. Yes, all the things I once thought were so important are gone from my life. Compared to the high privilege of knowing Christ Jesus as my Master, firsthand, everything I once thought I had going for me is insignificant as dog dung. I’ve dumped it all in the trash so that I could embrace Christ and be embraced by him. I didn’t want some petty, inferior brand of righteousness that comes from keeping a list of rules when I could get the robust kind that comes from trusting Christ as God’s righteousness.

I gave up all that inferior stuff so I could know Christ personally, experience his resurrection power, be a partner in his suffering, and go all the way with him to death itself. If there was any way to get in on the resurrection from the dead, I wanted to do it. I’m not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don’t get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I’ve got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward to Jesus. I’m off and running, and I’m not turning back. (Phil 3:7-14 The Message)

Life as a Journey

…thinking about life as a journey reminds me to stop trying to set up camp and call it home. It allows me to see life as a process, with completion somewhere down the road. Thus I am freed from feeling like a failure when things are not finished, and hopeful that they will be as my journey comes to its end.I want adventure, and this reminds me that I am living in it. Life is not a problem to be solved, it is an adventure to be lived.

John Eldridge

Is It What It Is ?

I am always trying to find ways to explain how I think and see the world differently than I did years ago. As I sat waiting for an orientation class at to begin, the television was tuned to an educational channel and the program was a GED preparation math class. The teacher was trying to explain math concepts. He explained that a number, for example the number 5, is more than just a 5. You could say that 5 is 5 and that what it is. But in reality 5 is infinitely more than just 5. Five is not only 5 it is 2.5×2 = 15/5 = 37-32 = 6-1 = 7.4389 – 2.4389 = ad infinitum . Yes, they are all 5 but 5 is more than just 5. I can’t explain all the math concepts in the illustration but for me it was a great way to illustrate how my thinking and ultimately my view of the world have changed. My former way of thinking was when I saw 5, it was 5 and that was what it was. Somewhere along the line I realized that not only is 5 … 5, it is 2.5×2 and 15/5 and much more. Things I viewed so narrowly, I now realize have endless possibilities in how they are seen and understood. Creation reflects the infinite nature of the Creator.