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“You are going to feel like hell if you never write the stuff that is tugging on the sleeves of your heart — your stories, visions, memories, visions and songs. Your truth, your version of things, your own voice. That is really all you have to offer us. And that’s also why you were born.”
Anne Lamott

“You are going to feel like hell if you never write the stuff that is tugging on the sleeves of your heart — your stories, visions, memories, visions and songs. Your truth, your version of things, your own voice. That is really all you have to offer us. And that’s also why you were born.”
Anne Lamott

Why is it so important to be right? (6)

George 0 Comments
This is my 6th post on the subject of echo chambers. If you have not read the previous posts, I encourage you to do so. Clicking on echo chambers on the menu above will take you to the previous posts.

It is my premise that awareness and acceptance of our human fallibility is the key to avoiding the negative consequences of our own particular echo chamber. That premise is a stark contrast with our unrelenting desire to be right, the quality that is the creative force of echo chambers.

A whole lot of us go through life assuming that we are basically right , basically all the time, about basically everything : about our political and intellectual convictions , our religious and moral beliefs , our assessment of other people , our memories , our grasp of facts . As absurd as it sounds when we stop to think about it , our steady state seems to be one of unconsciously assuming that we are very close to omniscient.
Schulz, Kathryn. Being Wrong

Why is it so important to me that I be right? Kathryn Schulz is helpful …

…moments of rightness represent both the high – water marks of human endeavor and the source of countless small joys . They affirm our sense of being smart , competent , trustworthy , and in tune with our environment . More important , they keep us alive. Individually and collectively , our very existence depends on our ability to reach accurate conclusions about the world around us . In short , the experience of being right is imperative for our survival , gratifying for our ego , and , overall , one of life’s cheapest and keenest satisfactions . (Being Wrong)

It’s curious how mightily our thoughts and beliefs defend their territory. Why is it so vital to be right? Well to begin with, if you’re not right, then you are indeed wrong, with all the accompanying sense of humiliation and failure. ***

It can hardly be overstated how important and powerful is our need/desire to be right. The extent to which we are willing to protect our rightness is frightening… from the mundane to the global…wars, genocide,  racism, not to mention the sacrifice of relationships and professions. The cost of rightness can be expensive. 

Despite our need/desire to be right, there is one incontrovertible reality, our fallibility. The greatest peril of being right is that we lose an awareness that we are fallible… that we can be wrong. Some might argue that we are aware of our fallibility.
I am unaware of anyone, who would objectively deny their human fallibility e.g. “Of course, we all make mistakes.”
However, I know a lot of people (including myself) that are adamant they are not mistaken in their rightness. Somehow our belief that we are right trumps the truth that we fallible beings. Why is that?
Coincidentally, Erwin McManus in a recent lesson offers a challenging explanation:

WE ARE STUPID!

Prov. 12: 15 Stupid people always think they are right. Wise people listen to advice. (GNT)

Wise people are really aware of how often they are wrong. Even when they are right they feel a sense of wrong.
Stupid people always think they are right. They never have to justify their actions. They never have to justify their choices because they think they’re right. If you are always right you’re not always right, you’re always stupid.
By choosing to listen you begin to attack the stupidity in your life. Wise people listen to counsel. You never get so wise that you do not need advise.
Stupid people think that wise people don’t need advise. And that’s why they are stupid. Wise people need less advice and want it more. Wise people need less advice and seek it more. Stupid people need more advice and seek it less.
Here’s how to know where you fall on the spectrum of stupid or wise. If you are asking people for counsel and input in your life you are wise. If you are looking for people that agree with you, you are being stupid. Ironically, stupid people always pretend they are getting advise.

OUCH!

Echo Chambers – Who Are We? (7)

George 0 Comments
This is my 7th post on the subject of echo chambers. If you have not read the previous posts, I encourage you to do so. Clicking on echo chambers on the menu above will take you to the previous posts.

This post and the previous posts, have, hopefully, provided better understand of echo chambers and their influence on our society and, more specifically, our personal lives. This post is the next step toward addressing “how” questions,  a summary of my conclusions regarding echo chambers may be in order. If you have not read the previous posts. CLICK HERE to read a brief summary.

It is not my purpose, in writing these posts, to launch a movement to eliminate echo chambers. I do hope that those who read these posts will gain an awareness of echo chambers and their impact on our society. More importantly, I want readers to understand the personal implications of residing in an echo chamber. 

Do not think this is about Republican or Democrat, et al. It is not about giving up what we believe to be right. It is not about proving the other side wrong.
Relative to the negative outcomes of an echo chamber, it is ultimately irrelevant whether we are right or wrong about our cause.
Continual, unfiltered exposure to reinforcement of our rightness, will, ironically, result in unhealthy outcomes that can result in destructive consequences.  It is revealing to read comments on controversial subjects that appear in social media. There is no limit  as to how despicable comments can be. Living constantly in an echo chamber can transform us in ways that are inexplicable. The “safety” of an echo chamber is a darkness that shields us from face to face interaction and allows us to escape responsibility and grants permission  for words and conduct that we would never consider otherwise.
Consider two comments posted recently on Linkedin:

Bull@#$% comments from trolls or morons are completely useless and waist of my time to read. I am not neatral in what i am.I stand without doubt a hardcore constitutional republican ,a Master automotive technician, and above all a christian. So call me what you want i am confident in my beliefs, ideas and religion.What the naysayers have to say has ZERO EFFECT ON ME and makes no difference to anyone but the one calling names.

… we should all support each other…men ,women and others.we are all gods children.lets stop dividing ourselves into categories.men ,women, black ,white straight ,gay.lets just be one people with the same mission.being good citizens of our wonderful country.I agree that women should not put down other women nor should any group denounce other groups just to self promote or to attack others you dont agree with.Lets debate and find common ground and work together for the greater good for all.

The first comment was, obviously, in response to a subject the commenter did not agree with. The second comment came in response to an idea the commenter agreed with. The most revealing thing about these two comments is that the author of both was the same person.

I wonder which one he would say most represents who he is?

 

 

 

 

 

Bob Dadisman

George 11 Comments

My long time friend, Bob Dadisman died unexpectedly Sunday evening January 21, 2018.

The reality of his passing is a shock. In my mind he was destined to live beyond normal expectations. His dad died at age 95 and his mom is still living at age 101 +. It seemed, in some ways, he planned not to die at all. Not that he didn’t realize his mortality, he just didn’t live like it.

The windows through which I saw Bobby was in our close friendship as couples. Ann and I with Bob and Carla and Frances and Lovell Richardson enjoyed life together regularly and traveled to numerous places. Those memories are special. Additionally, Bob and I served together as elders. It was there that I gained deeper insights into my friend.

Bob was a strong man. Anyone who shook his hand knew his physical strength. I watched him in his later years work like a man half his age. It never occurred to me to challenge him physically. His strength was more than physical.

He was a man of strong convictions. I did, on occasion, challenge him on that front. He did not often relent to my challenges but he was always willing to hear me out. I never felt disrespected. Thankfully, whenever he was nearing his tolerance limit a facial tic would appear and I knew it was time to retreat.

Bob was a passionate man. He deeply loved his family, his church family, and his business and worked tirelessly for their well being. His love and passion was revealed in his deeds. I never witnessed an emotional outburst from him.  However, I am certain that anyone who engaged him in an emotional context never doubted his care and concern.

Bob was a man of faith. His belief in Jesus was deeply embedded in his up bringing. As we served together as elders, I watched him struggle with the challenges that come to people who are serious about their faith. He was sometimes perplexed and other times troubled but I never knew him to waver in his confidence in Jesus.

If I had to choose a prominent person/image that most resembled Bob I would pick John Wayne (my apologies to the younger. Google it!). Like Wayne, Bob was a “straight shooter” who stood tall (?) and courageously lived out his values. The following quote about Wayne fits Bob well:

… his was no star-crossed journey. Rather, [Bob] simply worked tirelessly at his craft until he became a [success], but he never lost sight of the simple, straightforward person he was raised to be, even at the height of his [success]. Through it all, he tended to his family, enjoyed a few laughs, and devoted himself unwaveringly to his friends and [church] all his life.

I can say without reservation, the world is a better place because of Bob Dadisman.

Bob always loved a good steak. Though I never knew him to eat one that he didn’t wish it was a Gene Cash steak.
I love this recent picture that captures Bob’s care and concern.